i like this. so sweet

now shuddup i noe i'm supposed to be pissed. this is a sign of pms. but this is a really sweet posting i found on my frenster thingy...... :)



GALS...

Find a guy who calls you beautifulinstead of hot,
who calls you back when you hang up on him,
who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.
Wait for the boy who kisses your forehead,
who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats,
who holds your hand in front of his friends,
who thinks you're just as pretty without make up on.
Wait for the one who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you
and how lucky he is to have you.
Wait for the one who turns to his friends and says, "...that's her."

GUYS...

Find a girl who calls you baby instead of hot or sexy
who can't stand it when you hang up on her and calls right back,
who would sit there for hours looking into your eyes,
who doesn't care what you look like, but what's inside counts the most,
Who looks at you with the twinkle in her eyes
and kisses you on the cheek instead of the lips,
Wants to be with you in public,
even ifyou wear those old grass stained and ripped pants with the bleached jersey like always,

Wait for the girl who is a constant reminder of your happiness and joy,
who makes you smile just by knowing she loves you back
Wait for the girl who you give piggy back rides to in public and she still is in view of her friends, while she gets off and you hear her go: "you're the one for me, for always"




and this my addition: wait for the guy who says i love you n u can see it in his eyes.
wait for the guy who you think of even when u're with other guys.
wait for the guy who cries for you.
wait for the guy your heart sings for.
wait for the guy you cant live without.
wait for the guy whose voice can make you cry.
wait for the guy who would go to the ends of the world for you.
wait for the guy you think of when u wake up.
wait for the guy who's been waiting for you all his life.

i am waiting.

over.....

mummy...itz oveeeeeeeerrrrrrr... hmmm i bid a tearful goodbye to the examinations... ya right.

hmmm.. i absolutely refuse to go to the wedding today. i am in no mood. y should i go when my love life is in such a mess? makes me feel rotten. which i alreaady am feeling right now. n i will get even more irritated if vonzell gets voted out. i love her.

my mum wants to do girly stuff right now. she wants me to colour her hair. all i want to do is stuff that bloody thing down the toilet bowl and sleep for eternity. i feel drained. really. n i lost the ring that i was in love with. there is no way i'm ever gonna buy a ring again unless someone buys it for me. which is never.

I AM NOT GOING TO NO FUCKING WEDDING! now stay out of my way while i sulk the rest of the day away. i hate relationships. i hate YoU.

exams. darn.

yup yup.... itz the exam season right now. and frankly i'm not very confident of doing well this time considering that i forgot to bring my european history file home. damn smart. but i guess i never could bank on history ever since i entered this skool. totally lost interest innit though i did get a distinction for it for the o's. how times have changed.

hmmm... been studying history since last week so i guess sea is kinda settled.. and my lit has alsways been okay, despite the lack ( read: NONE) of effort that i put in these days. ayu, ayu....

wedding next week. got no clothes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

but yupz, looking forward to meeting people i hardly see. and hopefully got eye-candy. muahahahaha..soooooo romantic, meeting at a wedding. aiyoh practically everything is over romanticised these days. even i'm guilty of doing tt.

my maternal instincts are resurfacing. hehe... poor afiq has been kissed to death. but he's such a darling i cant help it. n no, i'm not about to pour hot coffee or wateva on babies. siao.


i'm toking crap so i suppose i'd betta get going before i dont make any sense. but then again itz already the case right now.

sekoool

i'm at sekool and looking at the newbies i cant help laffing..seems so long ago that i first stepped into the campus...but then again.... maybe it hasnt been that long. i'm munching on forbidden ovaltines..oh, the object of childhood desires..how we take such things for granted.

and while i'm dwelling on the subject of taking things for granted, i guess i hafta lean back and let things chill for a while. frankly i'm tired out. i look like a panda btw.
today i hafta go over for some probably unimportant meeting. yawn. itz gp after this..hooray2.

cant write in sekool. damn. and i'm staring at my first lit assignment's marks. not good not bad. let's just say itz in the double-digits. for a last minute thing i guess itz okay.

i really cant be bothered with cheemology. as long as i get my message across its fine with me. ( READ : TRY USING FOUL LANGUAGE ) hehe. okay.brain juice is seriously going kaput.. toodums for now. and can you see i seriously lack organisational skills.

almost here

i wish i didnt have to ask for it..but have a u heard the song by brian mcfadden and delta goodrum? itz entitled "almost here" i think.....

my sentiments exactly.... always ALMOST there...but never really there for me. n i resent that. itz painful to be left out of everything...i want to be there for every li'l thing, not juz the significant moments.

when i wasnt his, he made lots 0f effort to get me and when he finally did.....well... sigh.


i guess goodbye is it for now.

carwash

well not really. more like CARPARK! make sure there's lotsa hand lotion and what-not. heh. kidding lah... i've done enuf housework today to realise that no amount of lotion is gonna get me baby soft skin ever again. n yupz better mood nowadays. post pms mood. who am i kidding. my mood swings are horrichible. hate to think what will happen wen itz the menopausal stage. poor hubby.

damn. i'm embarrassed. was clad in a towel then my aunt called so picked up the phone when the window was wide open. oops. poor construction worker. ahahaha.

i am in love with exist......... i likeeeeee. oh gawd itz such a stuffy day. thank gawd i'm going out. but it looks like itz gonna rain soon. damn.

i wanna go OUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT. been jailed at home ever since i came back from k.l..... today, shall fag like there's no tomorrow. oh the joy of cigarettes... u devil u.


ok more another day. a long bath..... yummy. muah baby.

hmmm.....

sometimes i wonder if it's worth doing all this.. i dont know whether all the sacrifices and the pain, the tears, the waiting is known to that person... like right now i feel so blardy hurt but i doubt that person knows, just being in his own world not caring whether as a result of his ignorance he's hurting me deeply. but maybe itz that trait of his that i'm in love with. oh well.. it sucks.

i hate you for doing this to me.

aku kembali...cedebah

the trip was nice.... malas aku nak tulis banyak2. korang nak tau tanye jelah eh.. apesal aku tulis dlm bahasa melayu ni... must be the trip's fault. hehe.

i am actually a very pissed person today so this song is very apt for my mood. muakakaka. fell in love with it last night.


Masih Terserlah Ayumu

Cepat benar engkau pergi
Hujan masih belum berhenti
Banyak benar soalan ku tadi
Hatimu terusik kini... ooo
Sebagai kekasih ku
Layak aku bertanya
Sekuat mana cinta mu
Adakah insan lain di hati mu selain ku
( korus )
Sayang bukannya sehari dua
Percintaan kita ini
Yang dipersudah dipateri
Sayang jangan ikut perasaan
Marah jangan disimpan
Ku hanya ingin menduga
Dan kini aku tahu
Satu kekasihmu hanya aku
Marilah kasih aku dendangkan
Lagu yang pernah mencuri hatimu
Ooo.. marilah kasih biar kusimbah
Api kemarahan yang membakar di benak
Di benak mu...
( ulang dari korus )
Terpaksa ku berlari
Memintas mu dari pergi
Akan ku belai rambut mu yang basah
Masih terserlah ayunya wajah mu
Walau pun marah
Walau pun marah, ayu wajahmu
Masih terserlah... ooo...
Ayu wajahmu...



don't ever ask me that question again. anyway.... been sleeping lots today because i'm bored and angry.. sleeping is the only antidote to that. kenape u sanggup buat i macam gini ah? syiok eh buat orang marah.


anyway about the trip...i am guilt-ridden. oops i did it again... gulp.

going awayYYYyyYYYy

break away......

good thing to do right now. tommorow i'lkl be off to k.l.... for a few days and then itz back to the boring life in singapore. i plan on being a good girl. gawd. people are crying when i'm going for a couple of days only. cant imagine if i'm gonna be overseas for years.

okay cant write much i hafta go buy stuff and meet someone before ironing all the clothes that i'm bringing.... hope it'll be fun without shit happening.

BITCHHhhhHHHHHhHHHHHHHHH!

stupid sodding daughterofbitches....... i hate you bloody bitches. for once can you stop meddling with my affairs? if i wanna jump down or get married tomorrow what they hell u wanna do about it? stupid.

and my pet peeve is never ever ever ever touch my stuff without telling me. as a result of someone doing that, there are two broken perfume bottles, a damaged tissue box, clothes all over the house and some other stuff i dunno wat. dont ever mess with my stuff. especially my shoes and slippers. big no-no. as my mum found out.

i need to chill. i need food. i need chocolate. i need tender loving care but no way in hell i'm getting it today from the person who's supposed to give it to me. i need a break from you morons. i need a holiday. i need money. i need the bloody company to sponsor me otherwise itz their loss. fuck you. i dont need your backstabbing. fuck you all.

i need to get the hell out of this place. i need to scream. i need to go out. i need a hug. need a nice long kiss. i need to laugh. i am tired. very tired. so stop messing with me because i can be very very nasty. really.

today's a bad day as you can see. n till someone helps me get out of this utterly maddening state everyone in my house is going to suffer.

STAY OUT OF MY WAY. N I MEAN IT. PLEASE GET YOUR ASS OUT OF MY SIGHT. EVERY SINGLE ATOM OF YOU.

my BoOoOOOooOOOOOoo

[Usher intro:]
There's always that one person
That will always have your heart
You'll never see it coming
Cause you're blinded from the start
Know that you're that one for me
It's clear for everyone to see
Ooh baby
ooh you'll always be my boo
[Alicia intro:]
I don't know bout cha'll
But I know about us and uh
This is the only way
We know how to rock
I don't know bout cha'll
But I know about us and uh
This is the only way
We know how to rock[Usher verse:]
Do you remember girl
I was the one who gave you your first kiss
Cause I remember girl
I was the one who said put your lips like this
Even before all the fame and
People screaming your name
Girl I was there when you were my baby



assuming (and wishfully thinking) that i'd go pro one day, i'd love to be with someone way before i'd get a taste of fame. it'll be so cool like..years down the road itz like..baby, see we're still together.... yupz.... i very much want that to happen. but dunnolah time will tell. but hopefully i'll still be the same ayu that you know. i dont want anything to change US.

i dont think i'd want to be with someone in the same industry as i am though. i know i'd just get fed-up of it all and leave one fine day.

i know you love me
love me for who i am
coz years before i became who i am
baby you were my man

blogging in skool

fuck. i hate the school computers. my typing goes haywire. also the thought of someone sneaking up behind me and reading my not-so-desirable thoughts are kinda worrying. but yupz...boredom got the better of me. spent lit today at the back of e lib, sleeping away while the class did i know not what. oh dear. someone is in a bad mood today. damn. no loving for me today then. i sometimes hate smses, you can easily misinterpret what soemone is saying and a small issue can be blown out of proportion. i feel like eating something hot and spicy but i have no idea what. someone asked me out yesterday but i wasnt in the mood at all. when that happens, i usually end up banging the pots and pans in the kitchen or cleaning up the house. cooked nasi lemak yesterday btw. yummmy. feel like baking brownies today. but by the time i get home any illusions of being in the kitchen is usually wiped out from my brain.


a woman takes a song into her heart

i've just realised how damn irritating i can be when i'm listening to music. itz switched on freaking loud and i'm bopping ( if itz poppish) along to it...and i dont care what the rest of the world does. itz like being in love, to hell with the rest of them........ and today i've suddenly got this thing for usher again. damn him.

i cant really write with people sitting so close to me so i shall write another day or if i can manage to preserve enough energy to switch the pc on when i get home. which is probably a no-no. cant wait to get away from the humdrum life i have right now. i need to go OUT!!!! hint hint. someone take me out. puhlease. i'm suffering in this hellhole.



intellectual this is not. hahaha.

itz da weekend

itz the freakin' weekend.... boring. going to k.l on the 13th and 14th, itz already been confirmed. my lepak peeps are going to bintan, though, unfortunately...shall miss the whole group. but nvm, will be going wif akbar and gang. yay.


suddenly me inez and amy are struck with n-sync mania. dont ask me how. we juz started singing in the loo and the gym and so many n-sync songs came out.

can this be true
tell me can this be real
how can i put into words how i feel
my life was complete
i thought i was whole
why do i feel like i'm losing control
never thought that love could feel like this
and you changed my world with just one kiss
how could it be that right here with me
there's an angel..itz a miracle

anyway yesterday because i felt shitty and unloved i decided to lepak wif my kakis at tamp..the whole grp- me, arif, suhuf, rajiv, khai, jannah, saz except for mul...he met up wif soli..i intended to lepak wif dem but wen mul called as usual my hp was off. so yupz, came back ard 11.30.

i very the tired lah. but i hafta do my lit essays and stuf. damn. plus history. plus this plus that plus me feeling utterly horrible. okie dokie. now i've gotta go starrrrrrdeeeee.

you cant force someone to love you. n you cant stop me from loving him. i should know. i've tried time and again but all it has done was make me realise how much i really love him. but of course there are limitations to what i'd do. trust me i wont kill myself or wateva. have faith in me. I've stopped questioning the right or wrong of what's happening. I've stopped thinking about the danger that i might be hurt again. There's a time for thinking and another for feeling, a time to be practical and a time to love. Practicality just isnt working anymore. it has become want, need.


eeeeeeee. so romantic. haha. the pigeon without itz head is still haunting my every waking moment. like eustacia and wildeve are, invading every thought with the warning that i'm supposed to scrutinise their relationship. yawn.

third of march

oh wow... never been these tired since school started. it's almost ten; waiting for american idol to start but these few minutes seem to drag on and on. anyway, my homework's done so if i choose to sleep now it wouldnt be much of a problem sicne i've mailed mrs tan the essay outline. gawd.... thankful for having amy around to massage me. i am sore all over. need a masseuse. hurt my back. amy said itz very tense. muscle relaxants needed... but whoa. nononononono. not gonna touch that stuff.

nothing much happening these days, so pretty bored the trip to k.l is not confirmed yet so i'm gonna be relatively free for the hols for now i guess. need a break from the boring routine of getting up at 6 and reaching home at 8. and i dont have much of a social life now although i'm not exactly complaining coz all it does is add a strain to my pocket plus drain my of what little energy i have left. speaking of which i have almost nil now...... tttiiiiiiirrrreeeeedddddddd.... stupid mrt halted for ard 1/2 an hr today i was stuck innit wif akbar. cant they choose another time to stall?

tomorrow's a short day thankfully. not sure who i'm gonna spend the rest of it with. yawn. boring blogger you. i think i will eternally be in love.