tulis lagi

have a couple of free periods before p.e so here i am writing my usual rubbish... yesterday had a really good talk with b... tears flowed but at the end of it all i think we both gained something, a lot of things now tt we hafta really think about... clearly the road has never been smooth but effective communication does help alot, especiallty when it comes to touchy issues and painful things... arghhhh... they're stealing the comp must go now

teringat

i told b i would write something abotu last weekend so i will do it now.....



laz weekend i was with b at bedok reservoir.... were both juz spending quality time with each other when something happened, shall not say what but it shocked me to tears.... rather deja vu-ish really.... so yes, i started crying then b was like

b, pls dont cry...i cant c u like this... i dont want to see you cry. kite tak terbayar airmata awak... (i actually had the cheek to retort kite tk suruh awak bayar pon! while crying)

then he hugged me from behind..... after tt he kneeled in front of me n asked for my forgiveness. b kate kalau kite tk nk maafkan pon takpe asalkan i stop crying...i started crying even more actually.... then he hugged me again and after awhile i realised he was crying too.... he told me his feelings and i was incredibly touched... so yup, i stopped crossing my arms, touched his face and the rest is history.


i realised i had feelings for him then.

:)

hey.... this is a rare oppurtunity to update my blog... dont have much to say realli, except tt i was at ecp with b again last night. yest was a damn bad day for both of us, we both got hurt saying mean things to each other....

and i couldnt receive his usual calls in the morning when he wakes up coz my batt is flat.... still is right now so when i get back i suppose there'll be a flood of messages from him. i am quite contrite right now, i did say some stupid things, i usually do in a fit of anger...but b u hurt me too.


wateva it is i hope all is forgiven, takde lautan yang tak bergolora kan b.... this should juz be a painful but good reminder for us to keep our rship strong.....



i miss u b...... i'm sorry u had to rush back from work to meet me then have the night end with hurt and anger.... i'm thankful tt u were honest abt ur feelings, i'm grateful tt u are what u are..... i dont need to find a better looking or richer guy, he mght not be able to make me as happy as u can. today i shall aim to be a better person for u n me.



ok...should stop all this mushiness..... cant help it la. yesterday was a bad bad day.. sigh. we need to really be in tune with each other's feelings i guess.



have school till 430, itz only abt 12+ now and i'm dying. i miss my b, despite all the fights and tears.... insya'allah kite ade jodoh eh b. :)

wah dah lawa seeeeeehhhhhhh

haha... have not been able to get anything up on my blog for some time...quite a big lapse i think.... well nothing much happening la, juz spent my days with my b.... though itz difficult with the totally effed up schedules tt we both have. cant wait to start working, independence shall be mine then.....

where have i been with baby lately.... hmmmm... there was one funny weekend where we went to these places in abt 30 hrs... yup, stinko us tak mandi semalaman.... haha. we went mount faber (twice), ecp, bugis, town, mustaffa centre (twice), gateway building to rectify some problems hehe, i think i missed out some more... all said and done, it was gerek..

and abt 2 nights ago went to night safari with him...b, i do not appreciate u laughing at me. bats r NOT anything remotely funny. so wat if they've got superb senses and wont go banging into me???


anyway, cant meet up much anymore coz of him doing a lot of ot and me being more-or-less grounded. i quite deserve it la actually. havent been home till after midnight for many many days.... thank gawd b has a bike or we'll die from taxi-fare syndrome.


anyway i miss my bebeh...beb, we should meet up soon....


other than that i am a happy woman. itz amazing the things that happen when u least expect them....

so.....

shall i give the full story..... well i dont think so la. shd like it to be our little secret.


well anyway really am feeling good lately. seems like all that waiting really paid off.


i saw the school counsellor juz now when i went to pick up his call during gp.... brought back memories... but itz over n done and i'm looking forward to better days.


so anyway had a good time yesterday, havent felt like that for a long time..... :)


you cant read this but i miss you..... waiting for your kol....ok i'm quite mushy now. cant help it la. but gain this doesnt feel like the heady cloud-nine feeling but a more firm, rooted feeling. not love yet definitely but the more i look at his face the more rase sayang timbul kat hati.


i'll try.




itz a bit tough to be starting from scratch all over again but i find myself relishing every moment, perhaps at the end of this we'll emerge better people. i'll do wat i can to make this work babe i promise. we'll both do our parts... right now i noe there's a rough patch but like u said, ultimately kite yg menentukan whether this works or not. kite mintak maaf kalau kadang2 kite perangai sikit...... sorila wak, awak tau kan kite tk pernah ade niat nk burukkan keadaan. i'll c u as soon as i can.


i tau sayang, u keep saying yang sudah tu sudah..... :) yang pentingnye we've got each other to spend our days with right now.. nantilah u, sabar n i'll introduce u to mummy ok... insya'allah tt will happen.

98 degrees n mariah

I would give up everything
Before I'd separate myself from you
After so much suffering
I finally found the unvernished truth
I was all by myself for the longest time
So cold inside
And the hurt from the heart it would not subside
I felt like dying
Until you saved my life

Thank God I found you
I was lost without you
My every wish and every dream
Somehow became reality
When you brought the sunlight
Completed my whole life
I'm overwhelmed with gratitude
Cause baby
I'm so thankfulI found you

I would give you everything
There's nothing in this world
I wouldn't do
To ensure your happiness
I'll cherish every part of you
Because without you beside me
I can't survive
I don't wanna try
If you're keeping me warm each and every night
I'll be all right
Cause I need you in my life

[Chorus]
See I was so desolate
Before you came to me
Looking back I guess it shows
that we were destined to shine
After the rain to appreciate
And care for what we have
And I'd go through it all over again
To be able to feel this way

[Chorus]
Thank God I found you
I was lost without you
I'm overwhelmed with gratitude
My baby
I'm so thankfulI found you
I'm overwhelmed with gratitude
My baby
I'm so thankful I found you



darling i'm so thankful i found you.... i find myself tearing as i write this.... thanks baby.

wey....

hey..... i noe i noe stop nagging... i havent updated for a while...

well folks i am blissfully happy now. if you were meant to noe u wld have been told...

so ya... happpppppppppppppyyyyyyyy.

beb i'll tell you the funny details soon. love u too.


alhamdulilah for the way things are now. :)