smile

miracle of love..... dont underestimate it...




anyway was in town yesterday to celebrate my kuzin's bdae..went to eat at far east, then watched the holiday.. sorry baby, but jude law is cuttteeeee. sigh.


am job-hunting rather passively.....


i love love.


nothing much to say really... the wedding was great... so touching la the akad nikah.... sigh.




okie u tc peeps

a new chapter

in the next few days a new chapter will unravel for some..what part do i play in this? simply to be happy for them of course! will be picking up my clothes later n gg over 2nyt... i'm so excited for them... kinda close to them so the hype's getting to me.

the taxi driver yest asked me when itz gonna b my turn...... well...all in gd time.... much to be learnt still...never-ending, love is.


congrats to the couple.... the nxt time i blog insya'allah dah selamat pon diorang.... :)

why

why did i quit? coz i someoly couldnt stand the hours and lack of social life that came with the job.


some nice things for me from b to remember in case my hp dies on me :



u have not offended me in any way lah. jng salah sangka juga... i've been in a low mood for the past 8mths. luar je nampak ceria. inside, its a wrecked and sunk ship... (2/7)

juz for my general info, wld u kndly tell me if u hv a fear of becomign a bike pillion? (3/7)

wld u consider goin on a date wif an overaged guy like mein the near future if an oppurtunity arises? juz keluar makan, movieor gi zoo/ nite safari... (3/7)

seems u r asleep already dear. tried 2surpise uwith a col 2chat, tapi dead response from singhtel.gd nyt n gd mornin when you wake up (3/7)

thanks 4makin me realise my mistake.maybe i've fallen 2much, 2fast 4u b. its been almost a yr since i had sum1 to love. like i said, its like a beautiful dream 4me. reality chick n itz true, we have a r'ship going. alhamdulil'lah... i'll stop calling you sayang if dats wat u want.maybe i hv a tendency to channel 2much care, concern n understanding 2dat special sum2 dat i hv.its my greatest weakness.i'll put sum brakes2dat nw k. time will tell how dis r'ship goes k ayu. (20/7)

B, as much as i wld like to restrict my feelings my feelings4u, i cant do dat cos wen it comes down to the basics of love, itz asn overwhelming feeling dat i wanna share wif u. tak guna nak ayi sekat2kan cinta ni utk awk. we r different, man and woman dont think alike. i'm sori but ic ant deny the feeling of love4u. terpulang pada awak nak terima atautidak. u hv your won ways of r'ship. ayi ada prinsip. wat am i if i go against principles. i''ll be nothing.u take care sayang. i miss u. (20/7)

u dnt hv2say anything my dear. juz smile n keep my feelings close2yr heart. insya'allah cinta kita akan berjangkit pada hati awak b.i'll pray 4dat. jaga diri b. (20/7)

Mungkin berkat doa ayi berbulan2 hv paid off.alhamdulil'lah. it's a happy feeling dat i cant describe being loved by sum1. my scars r slowly healing since i hv u.... (21/7)

and that was the start of this r'ship, a happy one despite the occasional tears...........


in life, sumtimes we plan to hv dis n dat, in hope dat everything goes smoothly. if we can foresee the future, we wldnt want 2make the slightest mistakes n b on the right path of a gd life all the time. alas, who r we to not make mistakes n hurt the people we love most.we r juz humans, n itz human to make mistakes. i hope we learn a lesson frm our mkstakes n may god hinder us frm committing the same mistakes n sins over n over agn...i love you ayu. may we reach our common goal togther as husband and wife n learn the ways of love2geda,faithfully, patiently n hv a mutual understanding. afamily of our won wld be nice eh?the road will be long and uncertain 4us at times, but having sum1 by yr side makes the trip worthwhile. take care n be happy always. u hv me by ur side....

Love, ayi. (12/12)

what's there not to love abt this man... not much. of course he has flaws, as do everyone else.... this is the man i pray god sent to me for a husband. insya'allah.

give me juz a li'l bit more

a li'l bit more wat? I guess i li'l bit more of everything, except problems...but no matter how much you wish them away they still do cum creeping back into ur life, dont they... an inevitable facet of life.


anyway, am about to rush off for work in abt an hr, so i'm juz kinda filling in the boring slots of life at home by updating my blog.....


when do you reach the point of enough is enough? never. then baby u'd noe how i feel. despite those painful arguments and disagreements, those days when we both cry oursleves to sleep.... when you wake up, u realise you cant spend that day without him. i guess we both have been through enough to recognise a good thing when we see it... some days are painful, some absolute bliss.... its a normal relationship. and one we intend to keep going till our last breaths. insya'allah. first step would be our engagement... bukanlah mengharapkan sangat majlis tu terjadi but the whole point is it gives our relationship direction..we have seen changes in both of us, more focused in preparing for our lives together.



how do you measure love? by time, by quantity?



the thing is, you cant. is a 5 mth relationship like ours any betta or worse than one of 5 yrs? i dont think so.... neither do i have the need to find out. everyone works differently. there are blessings in each obstacle....


all that matters is we stay true to ourselves. and our partners. having been though alot of bullshit when i was younger, even the things that i see around me now, i intend to keep tt promise of mine. not because i have to, but because i want to. itz not worth the heartache. trust me baby.



itz raining here... should get my butt off the chair n get ready for work. nvm, itz wif kakak so tiz fine...


md asya'ari. what will i do without you.

yo

had my first 6am-3pm shift today...wasnt so bad...hafta admit it gave me more time to do stuff i wan to do (sleep, sleep,sleep), but the absolute mothereffingly up at 4 in the morn..... doubt i'll ever get used to it.

anyhow, tmr's shift starts at 3 so i'll get to sleep in or maybe have lunch at 1st....


i cant put up the pix yet because i've got to set up my scanner again, which obviously i havent done since i barely get to use the pc... this update only happened coz i've already slept for abt 4 hrs earlier..my innate clock has gone haywire.

time check:11.40pm.


waiting for b to get back from zul's houz, maybe msg a li'l before gg to sleep. if i can tt is. was planning this end-month's expenses...a bit fed-up with the cpf contribution. i noe itz for old age and yada yada but still, you feel the pinchhhhhhhhhhhh.


have not met any of my frens for over a week since i started work. even finding difficulty to mit up with ayi sumtyms. by the time i get hm sum days, he's already asleep... but i guess in a relationship, you HAVE to make time. looking forward to seeing you again love.



i dont have nail polish remover. damn. the polish is starting to be yucky....... but still ok so i hope tmr b4 i report for work i have the brains to go n buy one.

have been thinking abt stuff lately, how my life has changed so much in the last couple of mths, actually even last week... feels like itz more purposeful instead of floundering abt without direction...i like that.

thank you ayi for what you're doing for us. i appreciate it. i'm doing what i can too.


seems like there's so much to say but i dont even noe where to begin or how to end.


whatever it is, i pray i have the strength to face what comes my way..


i love you baby. u've done so much for me. but what we have, this love we share, itz not gratitude or terpaksa. we do belong together. after all that's happened, i dont doubt tt anymore. i pray our plans for june goes smoothly. i'm with you always, even during those time when i really want to STRANGLE N THROTTLE you. thank you n thank God for everything. amin.



to the rest of the peeps, happy holidays, happy working, simply be happy you have one more day with your loved ones........

yayyyyy

back online at long last...as in i have access from hm...

hooray...but i guess i'm paying the bills as well...oh well.... at least i can update as n wen i feel like it...shall update my pix soon..wait for it...

:)