twenty-fifth november

yesterday i went out wif my classmates... jalan raya... akbar, how do u 'jalan tak tepat'?? muahahahaha...inside jokes r the devil i tell u... i looked like a maniac at junction 8 laffing my ass off ( especially wif the vibrant hair-colour and the fact that i was almost sitting down at the traffic-light) it was so fun..i think we ate mee like..3 times yesterday..i'm amazed they could still swallow the same food again at 11.30 at night WIF RELISH.. the wonders of human capabilities... i start work on monday (i think) yayayayay.. *$$$$$$*$$$$$$$*

i am starting to enjoy life as a single person again... so fun 'changing partners' yesterday..pissed wif one, juz grab another!!! jokinglah, obviously.... tomorrow i hafta go to bloody toh tuck for some moronic event. they're gonna make me sing, as usual i think... and my handphone is such a bloody bugger i tell u..... dont bother sms or calling it ok.. call my houz. and how come i'm having my period NOW??????? didnt i juz get it 2 wks ago? after i came out frm hospital my menstual cycle has adopted this freakingly irritating erratic behaviour.. well itz betta than not getting it i guess.

can i sue smrt for plastering petrol or what seems like crude oil on my kain? fuck lah, i only wore that baju once and it got stuck in the elevator thingy..thank god it didnt tear when i had to yank it off the steps... and the worst part is oil stains ur stuff..arghhhhhhhhhh!

suddenly i feel like dating again.. i noe i said i've had enough of it for a long long time but lately i'm realising what fun i'm giving up. of course this time the criteria is a lot stricter,duh.....

which bring me to this.. do i have a THIRD PARTY sign hanging ard my neck or written on my forehead? recently, there's dis guy hu came to my houz to get something frm me (at midnight..) then he started contacting me, being lovey-dovey and all.. i kinda scared him away when i kept bugging him abt whether he was attached or not.... btw, he said he wasnt... but i did my own sleuthing and i found out that indeed he WAS attached!!!!!! and guess wat... he was attached to my friend, and she's like..15???? she's frm the dk grp tt i used to be in and they all call me mummy..can u imagine me taking my "daughter's" boyfriend????????? no way in hell, man... i didn't even like him anyway..well even if i did there was absolutely no chance of us getting together bcoz of what happened recently.. and she's MY FREN!!!!!!! so young and all... (tak tergamak aku nak buat gitu kat dia, or anyone else for that matter.( nevermind that i loved that particular someone like hell.)this juz had to happen, of course...but at least he's responsible enough to apologise for having a crush on me...weird weird world. thank god i checked abt him...phew.


well well.... i'm just waiting for the BIG BANG... and when he comes, he'll be ALL MINE. yeah baby.no doubts abt it.

eleventh november

heyyyyyyy... hahahahhahaha..i was recently at my frenster thingy and this freaky guy kept messaging me about gg to malaysia to go catch snakes and whether i wanted to join them..then he told me he was bitten by one and had to forfeit ten days of his puase..... riiiiiiiiggggghhhhhttt... I CARE! I REALLY DO! my pooor baby... weird guy... hahaha.

and my youngest sis has become a woooomaann. she got her period a few days ago. funny, coz all my life she has been 'a baby' and now i realise hey, she's grown up too.... well i cant exactly escape from that fact since she's almost as big (or small??) as i am and she's only 11...


u noe ***** is such a bastard. dunno wat i saw in him also. is it so hard to juz tell me he hates me? at the very least, he dosnt love me ryt, after how he's treated me (which is worse than cow dung, for the uninformed) so JUZ FREAKING TELL ME MAN!!!!! WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM? NO GUTS AH?
sorry, juz felt like screaming. n i hate myself for this particular thing that only i know...stupid stupid me.

n i hate the fourteenth of whateva month. it sucks. yes itz hari raya dis month, but itz also...argh. stupid date. i shd never have gone to all these places, getting soaked and all. not worth it lah in the end. i shd haf stuck to my first impression of him....they always do count, dont they?


but it has happened. i dunno what i'm gonna do if i see him again ( letz guess - run away?) o i forgot..he's dead to me. n yet..................................

eighth november

mak oi.....kaki aku sakittttttt... went to geylang AGAIIIIIINNN... was a good girl n didnt buy anything though... does mee hoon goreng count? but it was soooooooo tasteless... tak sedap lah..or izzit my tastebuds? i'm getting sick of my pink blog... never liked pink actually.

going to town tomorrow maybe...meeting my bebeh, or the group.. see how things go. i look like a golden monkey!!!! i had to rush the other day while dying my hair so i couldnt really monitor the colour..den whoa!!!!!!!!!!! shall redo it some other day..at least no one's snickered yet.

sayu.......hati ini makin sayu...... hari raya in 6 days' time, if i'm not mistaken... i don't feel anything actually. i dont have anything or anyone special to celebrate with. in case you detect a tinge of sadness, well yeah.... it is hari raya after all.. but before u go on a tirade on how the idiot manipulated me n stuff, I AM FINEEEEEEEEEEEEEE all right, so stop bugging me... n yes the next one i snag will be one hell of a guy, don't worry. yes, a single one. i dunno how i'm gonna accomplish that but i'm sure there's still a nice guy out there. goodness, i make this sound like the end of the world. i wanna go out and have fun tomorrow...............yippee.

i have to alter all of my kebayas... even though i'm a bigger pig now, i still hafta make do with xxs and STILL alter it...leceh ah. thank god my mum can sew... wonder what the hell akbar is doing studying thai... n what all the hype abt ikhlas all about..well i shall leave the mystery for now and go grab a drink from the kitchen... c ya after raye i guess. ciao.



i'll be bak.

second november

so itz fixed. i shall be slaving another year of my life at this skool, gettting my ass ready for the a's....... blank on whether itz good or not..i did get promoted, not merely advanced so there's the wow factor there...anyway here's what miss ng wrote to me:

hello! you've got guts,courage. Not many can say that of themselves. You've overcome obstacles others do not have the courage to face. Take 2004 as one where the 'Ayu' I know triumphed. That is true strength. There will be other tough patches, take this year as a sign- knowledge; that, there's something, something special in you. SMILE -!


can i just say that she is one sweet lady? i never thought myself as a strong person but more and more i'm realising that people think i am.. well those that dont think i'm a slut anyway. i think i've had it up to here with all the lies guys give me. i am sure to give u one swift kick in the ass the moment there's a hint of a lie that you're attempting to tell me and i swear after what i've been through, i am not lying. yes i still love ***** despite knowing that he is one gutless idiot, but that's all there is to it. i love him but i do not wish for whatever happened between us to reoccur. but i won't say that it will never happen again because we can only plan but God determines it, but it sure hurts a damn lot. the blood tests yeah, but the emotional pain is superb man, i tell u... y the hell do the teachers think i'm some prodigy? i'm such a slob..i never studied since psle, seriously..i pay attention just enough to barely scrape through every year. i thought well...this year this is it, your luck runs out girl but no!!!!!!!!!! i guess i suffered enough during the relationship n all that it wasnt right for me to suffer anymore...hahahaha. absolute crap ah? but for those who dont believe in me i'm going to grab hold of that mass communications degree and shove it up your ass where the sun dont shine babe.... and when i want to do something i will do it. so dont get me hot and bothered boy because it sure aint a pretty sight when this girl gets pissed.... (though i cool down easily :P)

my ass hurts from the gym workout, man.... havent gone there in years...but shiok lah, sweating it out..... must do it more often.