blardy hell

am at ana's place now... went for the xray, no fractures but must go for physio.... is tt how itz spelt? waddehell. anyway ya..so scary hor...

anyways, went to ana's blog juz now and horrors of horrors, found myself in a not-very-cute kawaii pose staring( grinning actuali) back at me...


hahaha. am in lvoe with my best fren. lol. not tt kinda of love la...but well... she's everything i need in a fren.

girl can i plagiarise sumtg from ur blog...lol..

Don't talk to me, don't look at me
no we can't be friends
this little game you've got has to end
you can't flirt with me like it's nothing
because you're breaking my heart
my entire world is falling apart
go your own way and I'll go mine
I'm gonna get over you, just give me a little time.


so sad ah. used to feel tt way. still do sumtyms. but wat doesnt kill u ultimately makes u stronger.

terharuuuuuuuu

terharu betol gue..... tak dapat donate blood. haIZZZZzzz... blardy hell. i tot i'm above 45kg but i'm not. sedih betol. realli wanted to. so instead of donating right now am sitting in the com lab waiting for htp, which is a session with the trainers. boringgg beb.

watched take the lead oreadi. okla, nice sountrack. love it. but the story so-so je. still prefer dirty dancing.

nak tengok tristan n isolde la.

will hafta go to toh tuck this afternoon for a lecture on persuasion by sum nus lecturer. heard she's good. then out for makan with sum class peeps leaps tu balik membuta lagi lah jawabnye.

kena pegi xray ah. shit man.

nothing else to add, non-existent social life. except tt i find myself going to PS more often than town nowadays. not complaining la, balik pon senang.

need a fag.

unbelievable

Always said I would know where to find love,
Always thought I'd be ready and strong enough,
But some times I just felt I could give up.
But you came and changed my whole world now,
I'm somewhere I've never been before.
Now I see, what love means.
[Chorus]
It's so unbelievable,
And I don't want to let it go,
Something so beautiful,
Flowing down like a waterfall.
I feel like you've always been,
Forever a part of me.
And it's so unbelievable to finally be in love,
Somewhere I'd never thought I'd be.
In my heart, in my head, it's so clear now,
Hold my hand you've got nothing to fear now,
I was lost and you've rescued me some how-.
I'm alive,
I'm in love you complete me,
And I've never been here before.
Now I see, what love means.
([Chorus])
When I think of what I have,
and this chance I nearly lost,
I cant help but break down, and cry.
Ohh yeah, break down and cry.
([Chorus])

Now I see, what love means


song by craig david. someone is being an irritating idiot beside me mocking the lyrics to the song and saying that he wants to scratch his nose many times. frankly my friend, i do not care.

am not in love. just think that the song is beautiful.

eleventh

adek's bdae today. yest was dadi n ah boy..... had enuf of cake. have 3 free periods till lit so juz sitting ard in the library wasting time. have done most of my work thank gawd. tt's amazing yes.


will be going out next week. see, so pathetic ryt my social life. whole of this week will be a gd girl.


nothing to report realli. does nabil think i'm stupid?

sixth

having a bad day. nothing bad happened really, but itz juz one of those days where u juz wanna find a corner and hide while the rest of the world whizzes past u. itz one of the damn-u--r-so-blardy-stupid days again.

i'm guessing itz because of my lack of nicotine intake this week. i'm trying to make a conscious effort to keep it down but itz really hard.

anyway am sort of seeing someone again now but i dont have any feelings for him. nil. i feel bad coz i'm juz leading him on n all but at the same time i need somebody. but ya, like i said i dont feel anything for him. such a bitch i noe. i try not to reply n stuff wen he msges or pretend i'm sleeping wen he calls...... sigh itz so difficult having someone hu realli cares alot abt u when deep down u noe ur heart is with someone else.

but like i've said to some ppl, love doesnt realli matter to me now. there's so much for me to do and i dont think itz fair to hueva it is wen i've got so much on my mind. i'm just not ready for tt kidna commitment, i'm only 19 god noes how long more i will finally be satisfied with what i have. i've got to break the cycle. i've got to do this for myself, my future. altho i'm not sure if marriage or a long-term rship comes along with tt.


i used to be such an idealist, want to be a gd wife, get a gd husband, have kids be happy bla bla. tt doesnt seem real to me anymore wen i cant even see past the next wk. and the a levels. o gawd. now a whole different problem has cropped up academically. itz depressing to see the stupid mistakes i make. well at least itz only the common test. sigh.


i really regret what i did to nabil. but we were both too egotistical, to the extent that towards the end of our relationship, we would meet ( with the group present of course) and sit near each other, spend the whole night but not talk or look at each other. later i found out he was waiting for me to do something, and it was the same for me. the reluctance on both our parts to do something clearly showed tt the relationship wasnt strong enough. but i dont realli blame him. anyway he's young, probably with someone else right now n i wish him the best of luck. i realli treasure wat we had, he was very good to me. i miss him but itz a done deal n we're better off gg our separate ways.

anyway have a lot of free periods today. am positively exhausted.