fuYoO

wow. love this song, wonder how come i never heard it earlier....

Boyz II Men
Water Runs Dry

We don't even talk anymore
And we don't even know what we argue about
Don't even say I love you no more
'Cause saying how we feel is no longer allowed
Some people will work things out
And some just don't know how to change

Chorus:
Let's don't wait till the water runs dry
We might watch our whole lives pass us by
Let's don't wait till the water runs dry
We'll make the biggest mistake of our lives
Don't do it baby

Now they can see the tears in our eyes
But we deny the pain that lies deep in our hearts
Well maybe that's a pain we can't hide
'Cause everybody knows that we're both torn apart
Why do we hurt each other
Why do we push love away

Chorus

Some people will work things out
And some just don't know how to change

Chorus

Don't do it baby(2x's)

sad aye.... but i've learnt that maybe we weren't meant for each other. we should never have tried in the first place, i realise that now. but i'm thankful because it made me realise that i'm able to love, wholly and selflessly.

and now that i'm getting to know this 'new guy', i realise that by being stubborn and refusing to let go, i would have missed out on a chance to have a proper relationship with someone who has always been there, and will probably be able to give me what i want from a relationship. to know that i'm loved, that i'm the only one in his heart. no girl likes having to share. i never told ***** to break up with her because i already knew what the answer would be. even from the start. so yes, i wont forget that relationship, it has taught me a lot about love. and i hope the next one i embark on will not hurt me like that one did.

on a lighter note, we mutually decided to cancel today's date and meet on monday instead. kesianlah he just back from camp n my foot still hurts :( the bugger wants more time with me apparently. hehe. i actually feel so much happier these days. thank you darling.

sad life

seems like most of the time i spend in school is spent in the library nowadays. every week surely there has to be a teacher who's absent. supposed to be history now but we get to roam the kampung. then after that i've got ml a. bah. there's nothing much happening these days actually, just that yesterday i twisted my foot and itz aching now. damn. juz tot of wearing heels tmr, havent worn them for a long time. must settle for slippers then. bugger.

i'm damn tired, sent tiara off to school this morning. felt so much like a mother. awwwwww... okie my mind going blank la, this library's too crowded, cant get my thoughts sorted out.

foolish

like the song. nothing much these days, trying to clear my workload... well me and that guy..we're still talking on the phone and smsing. getting to know each other that's all. the last thing i need is to jump into another relationship.. i am tireeeeeeeed. came freakin' late to school today, was doing work at home. i juz realised i can get work done early in the morning too when itz all quiet. tot i could only do tt at night. well we learn something new everyday... going out during the weekend...havent been out for so long. i wonder how he looks like now..hehe. havent seen him for abt 4 months. well if he wrecks the date he wont ever see me again that's for sure. but somehow i think it will be gooood. notti notti. hey, give me a break lah. i havent really seen anyone for almost two years now and a girls's gotta have some fun right??? not counting the people i date on and off lah. heh.

my tagboard disappeared when i changed my template back to this one, sorry guys. i'll see what i can do abt it. this of course means i cant be bothered anymore. blearggggh. did i mention i'm tireeeeed?? oh gawd the school is sending me for a debate comp. and i hafta stay over at the campu from the 28th till the 2nd...i dowannnnnnn! got enough work on my hands already. maybe this is my own doing. next time they have debates i shall shut up and not comment on anything. be a bimbo. bimbos have it so much better than i do....sigh. damn tkgs for drilling debate stuff into my head. but then again teachers have this scary ability to tell who knows what the hell is going on and who doesnt. freaky.... i dowan toooo goooooooo.... someone please kidnap me then... an unwilling soul wont do justice to the debate let me tell u first. sigh. but dont think i can cabot lah. bugger.

my lit lesson's starting in 5 min... bah.

vell vell vell

yupz..... i am so very happy these days..... my life has never been more cheery than this.... all thanks to a new man in my life. i shall not reveal too much about him coz we're still like..frens and trying to see if things might work out between us but i feel like we do have something there. well he's a very sweet person, that's all i can say... and he shares the same sentiments that i do abt relationships....basically somebody i wouldnt mind being in a relationship with. how wemet and all is rather interesting but i will only talk abt it when things are more concrete between us. some of you already know of course.... thank gawd i found you baby.. =)

glooommmmyyy daaaay

sigh. feel horrible. stupid thing called love. sigh. sigh. sigh.

in love again

i am in love with this song from mario. r&b....fuyoo~ i like.

mario - how could you

oh oh... whoa no no no no
Said I'm lonesome Babe
[1st Verse] It's kinda crazy babe
How I remember things
Like where you came from
And how you had nothin I went and made you fly
Put extras on your ride
Didn't miss a birthday
Now you cant even remember mine
[You made it clear to me]
You wasnt down for me
[Love made me blind baby]
But now I see
[You had things up your sleeve Dont even lie to me]
I even heard it from your family
Chorus: How could you let somebody lay where I laid?
How could you give him everything that we made?
How could you call him all the names that you used to call me?
How could you,
How could you just forget about me?
How could you teach him all the things i taught you?
How could you put him up to the Ghetto Karmasutra?
How could you put me in the back and give him the front seat?
How could you,
How could you Just forget about me?...yeah
[Verse 2]
You must be out your mind
You got a lot of nerve [To think that im gon' chill after all the shit i heard]
I gently carried you
I could of married you
Good thing I found out
Before I brought that seven carat for ya
[I know your sick about]
The way I found you out
[Go head and pack it out]
I hope he's got room in his house
[You should of thought of me before you hopped in the sheets]
Damn i cant believe that you did this to me...Baby!
[chorus]
[Verse 3]
Girl I tried to give you everything
Cant believe the ways you repayed me
Girl you had it all
But I guess my all
Wasn't good enough for you
Baby i've accepted it
And I aint gon' trip
Girl i'm movin' on
Sometimes I cant help but think
That another man's gonna get the one I made for me
[Yeaaahhh ooohhh baby]
[chorus]
[verse 4]
How could you
How could you
Just go and lay there
How could you
How could you
Give him everything
How could you
How could you
Call him all names like that
How could you babe
How could you babe
How could you
How could you
Teach him everything
How could you
How could you
Out him to the ghetto Karmasutra
How could you
How could you...



rob thomas - lonely no more

Now it seems to me
That you know just what to say
But words are only words
Can you show me something else
Can you swear to me
That you’ll always be this way
Show me how you feel
More than ever, baby
[chorus]
Well, I don’t want to be lonely no more
I don’t want to have to pay for this
I don’t want another lover at my door
It’s just another heartache on my list
I don’t wanna be angry no more
You do know I could never stand for this
So when you tell me that you love me, know for sure
I don’t wanna be lonely anymore
Oh, oh, oh, ohOh, oh, oh, oh
Now it’s hard for me
When my heart’s still on the mend
Open up to me
Like you do your girlfriends
And you sing to me and it’s harmony
Girl, what you do to me is everything
Let me say anything just to get you back again
Why can’t we just try
[chorus]
I don’t want to be lonely no more
I don’t want to have to pay for this
I don’t want another lover at my door
It’s just another heartache on my list
I don’t wanna be angry no more
You do know I could never stand for this
So when you tell me that you love me, know for sure
I don’t wanna be lonely anymore
Oh, oh, oh, ohOh, oh, oh...
What if I was good to you
What if you were good to me
What if I could hold you till I feel you move inside of me
What if it was paradise
What if we were symphonies
What if I gave all my life
To find some way to stand beside you
[chorus]



singing. the antidote for the hurt.

do you really love me?

another post from frenster thought that triggers my thoughts on well.....you. if you are in love or think that you are, then this should be interesting. my comments are in the brackets.
----- start of bulletin post
For all you people who say, "I love you" whenyou have no clue what love is exactly!!!Something to ponder upon...

Are your palms sweaty, is your heart racing and is your voice caught within your chest?? -It isn't love, it's LIKE.

You can't keep your eyes or hands off of her/him -It isn't love, it's LUST.

Are you proud, and eager to show her/him off?? -It isn't love, it's LUCK.

Do you want her because you know she's/he's there?? -It isn't love, it's LONELINESS.

Are you with her/him because it's whateveryone wants??It isn't love, it?s LOYALTY.

Are you with her because she/he kissed you, or held your hand?It isn't love, it's LOW CONFIDENCE.

Do you stay for her/him confessions of love,because you don't want to hurt her/him?It isn't love, it's PITY. (my comments : i dont need no fucking pity from any bugger. love me for me)

Do you belong to her/him because the sight of her/him makes your heart skip a beat??It isn't love, it's INFATUATION.

Do you pardon her faults because you care about her/him?It isn't love, it's FRIENDSHIP.

Do you tell her/him every day she is the only one you think of?It isn't love, it's a LIE. ( i agree. hell i think about a freakin' load of people. but it aint the same if it aint u )

Are you willing to give up all of your favorite things for her sake?It isn't love, it's CHARITY. ( I wouldnt give up singing for the world. just tt i sing to a different crowd i guess, meaning just u. but if u love me for who i am, u wouldnt ask me to give it up)
=====================================

Does your heart ache and break when she's sad?Then it's LOVE. ( so dont u ever say again that it doesnt matter what u say or do. or that u dowan to drag me along with u. tt's dumb and u noe it. wateva happens i want to noe. even if i cant help u i'd still listen to what shit u're going thru)

Do you cry for her/his pain, even when she's/he's strong?Then it's LOVE. ( like i said before, even if u think u can manage it on your own, not for a second am i satisfied. i always feel like i havent done enough)

Do her/his eyes see your true heart, and touch your soul so deeply it hurts?Then it's LOVE. (this needs no elaboration)

Do you stay because a blinding,incomprehensible mix of pain and relation pulls you close and holds you to her/him?Then it's LOVE. ( again another thing that needs no clarification because i dont understand why these things happen either. all i know is that they do)

Do you accept her/his faults because it's apart of who she/he is?Then it's LOVE. (sometimes i just want to bloody slap you. or i tell you u're stupid or a bastard. but itz you. and that's who i'm in love with, faults and all)

Are you attracted to others, but stay with her/him faithfully without regret??Then it's LOVE. (sure. many times i've thought....if only this...if only that. but at the end of the day you realise that only that person can make you whole)

Would you give her/him your heart, your life,your death??Then it's LOVE. ( u are my world. n you know about the death part.)

Now, if love is painful, and tortures us so,why do we love? ( because it is the most basic thing for us; to crave for love. to madness???? maybe. but to noe that u're loved by someone is a feeling that surpasses everything else.)

Why is it all we search for in life? This pain, this agony? Why is it all we long for? This torture, this powerful death of self? Why?The answer is so simple cause it's...LOVE.It is such an addictive thing that even people who are not having it wish to experience it and share it with others as well.Pass this to all your friends so they don't make the same mistake with their LOVE LIVES!!I like the dreams of the future better than the history of the past...Love hurts our feeling, but it's also the reason our soul heals...

-----end of bulletin post

what is life without love. what is love without sacrifices. who am i without you.

something i've thought abt

was looking thru my frenster stuff then found this particular bulletin post that mirrors my thoughts sometimes. it has always crossed my mind actually.


I knew from the beginning..
That you were just a flirt..
And yet I fell in love with you..
Knowing I'd be hurt...
I thought I could tie you down..
And make you love just one..
But how could I do something that no one else has ever done..
I'll know you never love me...
And I'm trying not to cry...
For I must find the strength somehow to kiss yourlips goodbye..



well what can i say.... been there done that got the t-shirt.

have u ever had to let someone go although that someone was your life?

and u let that person go; in your heart thinking that if you were meant to be, he will come back to you..........





mc - butterfly

When you love someone so deeply
They become your life
It's easy to succumb
To overwhelming fears inside
Blindly I imagined
I could keep you under glass
Now I understand to hold you
I must open up my hands
And watch you rise
Spread your wings and prepare to fly
For you have become a butterfly
Oh, fly abandonedly into the sun
If you should return to me
We truly were meant to be
So spread your wings and fly
Butterfly
I have learned that beauty
Has to flourish in the light
Wild horses run unbridled
Or their spirit dies
You have given me the courage
To be all that I can
And I truly feel your heart
Will lead you back to me
When you're ready to land
Spread your wings and prepare to fly
For you have become a butterfly
Oh, fly abandonedly into the sun
If you should return to me
We truly were meant to be
So spread your wings and fly
Butterfly
I can't pretend these tears
Aren't overflowing steadily
I can't prevent this hurt
From almost overtaking me
But I will stand and say goodbye
For you'll never be mine
Until you know the way it feels to fly
Spread your wings and prepare to fly
For you have become a butterfly
Oh, fly abandonedly into the sun
(Fly to the sun)
If you should return to me
(I will know you were mine)
We truly were meant to be
So spread your wings and fly
(Spread your wings and fly)
Butterfly
Spread your wings and prepare to fly
For you have become a butterfly
Oh, fly abandonedly into the sun
If you should return to me
We truly were meant to be
So spread your wings and fly
Butterfly
So flutter through the sky
Butterfly
Fly
Spread your wings and fly
Butterfly

for my bebeh

i was halfway thru writing an entry laz evening when my dad hollered so i logged off. without saving the entry. clever gegerl. anyways...itz a straight 4 free periods today..havent got much to do since i've done my work over the weekend. hooray2.

so yupz..wanted to write a tribute to my bebeh. not like she's dead but muz u wait until u lose someone b4 u'd tell her that you love her? hint hint. this best friend of mine..well i can count on her to tell me how she feels, and it's the same for me and we dont judge each other...the good thing i like abt her is she never fails to make me laugh. she's been with me thru thick and thin, we've laughed, cried, done everything together as girlfriends. lepaking at ur house has got to be the most favourite thing to do for me these days. i wont forget that particular day when i was on mc and i bought u breakfast and came knocking on ur door at 9...u were groggy, n NOT HAD UR BATH. we watched sepet, and yes it is a gd movie.... although i didnt think he was cute at all bebeh..sorry bout that. but the storyline was sooooo sweeeeeeeet...especially in the taxi when she called him... and i like her parents..hehe. i remember u screaming that u wanted to get a ceena boyfren and i wanted to get married..hehe.. u cried while watching n i was thinking...fuck, dont cry... my hand was trembling as i reached for my cigarettes i tell u...sooooo sad. but yeah...sitting in the living room, eating, smoking and screaming.... those precious moments are what every girl would want to keep with her for the rest of her life. and when we were in school together... damn crappy huh? in the bus, we would sit on the upper deck and i would sing n u'd be my back-up singer.... yes he was singing my life...two time two time... those were the days.... but i guess our frendship has matured in the sense that we both have had to deal with difficult issues..but the most heart-warming thing is you were there the whole time. u told me what i did was stupid, but u did not question my feelings towards that someone. you tried to understand the situation and u never judged us. in fact i tell u now that u were the one who made me realise what my true feelings were. u made things brighter when we meet after a particularly trying day. if u were a guy i would have fallen for u but no darling...u noe perfectly well i am one straight woman so too bad huh... haha.


and yes, next time u neet iman and ijat tell them i DO NOT wear straps. hah. if u cant, punch them too.


you look exactly like what a best friend should look like. we never had an argument before, not even a tiny one. i guess we both realise that our friendship is too much of a precious thing to waste it on unnecessary stuff. so yupzzzzzzz...... thank you for always being there for me.. for believing in me and never doubting my intentions. muacks...... i love you to bits.

* kosong, kosong, kosong still kosong what!!!!*

laparrrrrrrrr.

i'm hungry!!!!!!!! i havent had anything yet..of course lah. itz only like 10.3o...? heh. yesterday i ate like a pig. was ah boy/mamat/muhammad saifuddin/ my annoying brother's birthday...and my dad's. so yupz..ate cake which wasnt chilled..wanted to puke i tell u.. my mum NEVER listens to me. and lotsa other stuff. but havent had rice for the past 4 days. siao.

anyway..am in the library now. have 7 free periods. abd we end at 5.15. bloody nonsensical timetable. i DEMAND a new one to be drawn up immediately. if i came across as spoilt to u, that's because i am. not by my family certainly, but my frens know how manja i am.. lolx. akbar says i wouldnt eat unless you feed me.. really that bad ah? lol...

another earthquake last evening off sumatra, padang that area i think. but i'm going there in december so i'm praying hard nothing happens anymore, or while i'm there. i plan to do something sweet on thursday..hehe. but it depends on whether i can squeeze some time off my hectic schedule. cheh..like some diva liddat ah. hmmm....didnt get to go to the gig yesterday..damn. they had to ask yesterday of all days.nvm will meet up with them next wk or something. my pc at home is going bonkers. i seriously need to sort out my thought process. i can ramble on and on till the moon turns purple.

okie dokie got nothing to say so shall end it here. more next time. hasta la vista....bebeh.

orh yes reminder for me to write abt bebeh the next time round :)

mariah carey

my idol. hmm. still lazing ard in skool. bah humbug.

got the lyrics of these two lovely songs. i wish i could have a juz a fraction of her talent and success.


Can't Take That Away (Mariah's Theme)



Mmmmh
Whoaaa
They can say,
Anything they want to say,
Try to bring me down,
But I will not allow anyone to succeed hanging clouds over me,
And they can try
How to make me feel that I,
Don't matter at all,
But I refuse to falter in what I believe or loose faith in my dreams
'Cause there's,
There's a light in me,
That shines brightly,
They can try,
But they can't take that away from me
From me
No no nooo
Oh they,
They can do
Anything they want to you,
If you let them in,
But they won't ever win,
If you cling to you pride, and just push them aside,
See I,
I have learned,
There's an inner peace I own,
Something in my soul that they can not possess
So I won't be afraid and the darkness will fade
'Cause there's,
There's light in me me,
That shines brightly, yes
They can try,
But they can't take that away from me
No oh oh,
They can't take this
Precious love I'll always have inside me,
Certainly the Lord will guide me where I need to go
Woah, woah
They can say
Anything they want to say,
Try to bring me down,
But I won't face the ground,
I will rise steadily sailing out of their reach,
Although they do try,
How to make me feel that I,
Don't matter at all,
But I refuse to fall,
Tell me what I believe or lose faith in my dreams,
'Cause there's a light in me,
That shines brightly yes
They can try but they can't take that away from
Me
From me
No no nooo
Me







and this song is soooooooo nice. sigh.




Thank God I Found You



[MC:]
Ahhhm
Mhhh
[98 Degrees & Joe:]
Oh yeah
[MC:]
I would give up everything
Before I'd separate myself from you
After so much suffering
I finally found unvarnished truth
I was all by myself for the longest time
So cold inside
And the hurt from the heartache would not subside
I felt like dying
Until you saved my life
[all:]
Thank God I found you
(Yeah yeah)
I was lost without you
(I was lost)
My every wish and every dream
(Mmmmh)
Somehow became reality
When you brought the sunlight
Completed my whole life
I'm overwhelmed with graditude
'Cause baby I'm so thankful I found you
[MC & Joe:]
Mmmh
Oh yeah
Whoaaaaaa
Oh yeah
[98 Degrees & Joe:]
I will give you everything (everything)
There's nothing in this world I wouldn't do (oh no)
To ensure your happiness
I'll cherish every part of you
'Cause without you beside me I can't survive
Don't wanna try
(I don't wanna try)
If you keeping me warm each and every night
I'll be allright (be allright)
'Cause I need you in my life
[all:]
Ooooh
Thank God I found you
(I'm thanking you)
I was lost without you
(So lost without you)
My every wish and every dream
(Every wish, every dream)
Somehow became reality
When you brought the sunlight (brought the sunlight)
Completed my whole life (completed)
I'm overwhelmed with graditude (overwhelmed with graditude)
('Cause baby I'm so thankful I found you)
And I'm so thankful I found you
[MC & Joe:]
Oooooh
(See)
See I was so desolate before you came to me
Looking back (looking back)
I guess it shows that we were destined
To shine over the rain to appreciate
The gift of what we have
And I'd go through it all over again
To be able to feel
This way
(This way)
[all:]
Thank God I found you
(Yeah yeah)
I was lost without you
(Lost without you baby)
My every wish and every dream
(And every dream)
Somehow became reality
Oooooooh
When you brought the sunlight
(Brought the light)
Completed my whole life
(My whole life)
I'm overwhelmed with graditude
See baby I'm so thankful I found you
Oooooooh
Thank God I found you
I was lost without you
I'm overwhelmed with graditude
(So overwhelmed)
My baby I'm so thankful I found
You
You
I'm overwhelmed with graditude
My baby I'm so thankful I found
(I found you)
You

you have no idea what you mean to me. baby i'm so thankful i found you.

in the library now, i have 4 periods b4 gp..that's the only lesson i have for today. the timetable that the school churns out is getting more and more ridiculous. itz definitely advocating absenteeism on my part. but then again it has always been a great joy for me. hah. well yesterday was interesting.

daddy, ah boy n adik's bdae coming up soon, on the 10th and 11th.. i think this year itz my turn to be a spoilt brat and do a tiny celebration thingy. 18..tsk tsk. which is on the 7th of may. 7 th of may 7th of may 7th of may.. oh dear how this thing echoes my every word. :)

today i hafta head over to toh tuck to be a busybody for the cca shit. not that i want to but when u r in the exco everything becomes ur business whether u like it or not. my cousin's wedding was very fun.. i remember she was telling me the night before the sanding abt her husband and we were like....bitching abt men.. hehe. wow. finally one of my cousins is married. n the next person who asks when my turn is will end up with a swollen lip at the very least. it hasnt crossed my mind yet but when it does i'll tell u and blast it on a loudhailer. made frens with all my guy cousins' girlfriends save one. we were bitching abt her. muahaha. kay lyea, amacam?? hehe.

kak erni wants to get pregnant asap... she's only 23..i cant picture myself pregnant at that age. wouldnt even be married yet i guess. but yeah i respect that some people are not as career-minded as i am.. hehe. juggling a career and kids is not an easy thing. i guess i want both to be carried out perfectly. i don think i'm as multi-tasking as women are supposed to be.

i guess when i'm in love i do give all of myself though. which is both a weakness and a strength. blah. my eye-bags are huge today. damn. i wonder what exactly cik biah saw that day in town. oops. but i guess itz ok. bound to happen.


this is the first time i actually have something to write about when i'm the library. well there's always a first for everything. my, i am a boring writer. and i noe i dont make sense but itz my party and i'll cry if i want to...... my mood is dangerously hovering between deliriously happy and down in the dumps. we'll see.

yay

for once i think i might be making a little progress in my career...however things are not for certain yet so i'm not pinning hopes on anything. i feel so sosososososososo tired and angry right now. whoa. pms definitely rearing itz ugly head at me.

okie. got a whole gang of guys over at my place. my sis' frens. evern she believes that guys are better frens then girls. hi 5.

found someone new

yupz. i have found someone new. finally. this someone wont make me cry. this someone wont stab me in the back. this someone will be with me for the rest of my life.

i am in love with this new someone. and no one can take this person away from me. this person will never hurt me.


i am contacting no one for now. good bye world.