ooooooooooh....lookyyyy... there's a tear in her eye...oh, that poor dearie.. all that while thinking in your mind what an absolute floozie... she certainly asked for it.
now i don think of ***** all that much, in fact hardly, but it kinda gets annoying wen one kaypohchi after another comes up to me and insists on being a shrink... trying to get inside my head, eh?
one more time one stupid sodding sonofabitch or daughterofabitch does that i will yank their hairpiece out. there is only so much that i can take from you guys okay. i was perfectly fine until you told me to step into your darling office and proceeded to relive the horrors of my relationship.
you guys think i'm some bloody mothafucking slut who deserves to be burnt at the stake for what i did. yes, yes the sodding bitch who steals someone else's guy. hey, watch out, maybe itz your guy i'm out for next.
for goodness sakes... i loved him ok? and yup, maybe it was one-sided as you all kept drilling into my brain.... well, sorry for 'fantasising' lah! the school shrink thinks i fantasise about him...gawd... funny or wat?? well if you read the stuff he sent me you certainly'd think i wasnt the only one. but yes yes, i love him still, very much... but no, i'm not going to go begging him because my pride has been hurt again and again and again by this guy who claims he loves me but in actual fact doesn't. well i don't know. doesn't seem like it anyway. if he does, what u gonna do, sue me?
i so wanna leave the bloody skool and get a job..meet some proper hassle-free guys, not fall in love with them as usual...see, that's what i was about some time ago....until i fell recently...HARD. girl, you got lotsa stuff to learn still... except, cant fate be a little easier on me? now that i'm perfectly sure i am absolutely capable of loving someone, and smooching them, i guess itz not so bad after all huh....
i juz wish you wouldn't think so badly of me...or him for that matter. as much as i feel he could have dealt with matters in a better way, i dont blame it. we were all none the wiser when it came to this situation. now that itz over and done with, i hope i can move on soon with life...i wont forget him, certainly, but he'll be juz a part of the hazy past, part of my mistakes and one that i certainly will learn from...so yup...... tears do dry up one day.
love doesnt have to hurt. i've let him go and i hope he's happy whatever he's doing right now. although admittedly things arent fine and dandy betweeen us, i still do love him...always will i guess, although perhaps not in the way i did then..... and i thank him for those wonderful moments we had the past three months...
AYU N ***** ------ 14th july - 15th october.
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