ninteenth september

i think i noe wat cikgu meant when he said i was gonna die on the eigthteenth...not physically... emotionally. i dunno how the hell that conclusion regarding me was made. itz so bloody unfair. anyway tonight things shall be sorted out.



Something happened on the 7th of september but i am not in a position to divulge the information.. anyway, yup, here i am banging on the keys again, trying to make some sense out of my thoughts that are, frankly, muddled...

Ok scrap that. I needddddd to sllllleeeeep! Mind you, its only three now.. i have become such a couch potato these days..but no beer belly, no chance of that happening..must get out more!! And end up spending more, of course... there’s always the downside of things huh..damn.. i wanna go to the beach!! Hint hint hint...ok forget the subtle hint... here’s ayu hollering I WANNA GO TO THE BEACH YOU MORONS!!!! SOMEONE ASK ME LAH!!! actually i just went yesterday..wanna go again..hehe.


Ouch. Sorry if i made your eardrums burst or something. Do i write like a bimbo? Ok scrap that.bimbos dont even bother writing in blogs.. yes tell me again you fellas..ayu have you got nothing betta to do? Sorry to disappoint you guys but contrary to popular belief, i really do not have a life, other than staring at my own face on my handphone’s wallpaper and idly poking the buttons. So...yup yup... what else is there to talk about....yawn yawn... hey cut me some slack ok... i am not the most interesting person around i noe but at least i do get out once in a while.

I remember what kak nana said when she first heard me ( btw, i hate microphones, karaoke n recorded versions of my songs/voice. The only time i sound reasonably okay is live. Which is bad, since if i wanna do records they would obviously hafta be in recorded form. What the hell did i just say? I DID NOT MAKE SENSE. B-I-M-B-O) was that i dont sound like a fifteen year old. She said i sound like i’ve been singing all my life.. kinda close to the truth. Ever since i was maybe four? (And for the uninformed, i am seventeen and four months now, thank you very much)

Ok...watch out.. ayu’s going to tell a grandmother’s story again..grab your pillows.. and bolsters....hahahahahaha. the first time i sang in front of more than a hundred peeps was a wedding.. i was five then.. my aunt still has the tape.. i was one hot babe then... woohoo! *whistle* anyway,i sang this song lah, called janji manismu by aisyah... i remember some guy took out the flowers from the vase on the table and gave them to me... i didnt exactly remember lah, until one day i went over to my aunt’s n she played her wedding vcd
(converted from the tape).... during that time i was already actively performing.. ok that’s an understatement. I’ve been performing all my life.. what i meant was singing, because, ironically, i did acting and emceeing when i was younger. i didn’t sing much when i was in pri school or early sec school... only when i was in sec 3 then i suddenly hit my head on the wall and started to sing A LOT on stage, although i’ve been singing in the bathroom all my life. So ya... it was then that it hit me ( am i a klutz or wat...hit here hit there...) that maybe this was what i wanted to do... and i guess i have to thank my ex-boyfriend for opening so many doors for me during the time that i was in dikir barat.. he’s more of a brother now though n i miss him... anyway, yupz...had offers but not taking them up anytime soon.. i want to be under a good label anyway. Not trying to be haughty here but a good label really makes a difference...... but studies first of course... MASS COMMMMMMMMMMMMUNICATIONNNNS!