twenty-seventh

watched white noise two days ago... so sad. bebeh screamed. THE ONLY ONE. and fucking loud too, at that. i was watching with half an eye (is that possible?) towards the end, the rest of my head stuck in between bebeh's shoulder and the seat. It wasnt scary lah to tell you the truth. But even before the movie started i had already scared bebeh to such a degree that i freaked myself out too.

went to gpa, with bebeh ( but i left her there. oops. guilty) but ended with arif and fadhil. weird. like i told him, itz funny how i can be friends with him one minute, not tok to him for the rest of the year and then we were like buddies again yesterday. n i finally admitted to him tt i used to have a tiny crush on him eons ago. he said itz ok, a number of girls have a thing for him too. it was then tt i realised y exactly he pissed me off a lot when we were schoolmates. his ego. HUUUGGEEEE. like him. anyway he is attached. fadhil and fadilah. how cute. ayu and????????????? hahahah.

i would have killed him yesterday if my heels broke. he made me climb up this slope when we were heading back, me and arif to tamp to lepak with the usual guys-rajiv, suhuf, and saz also.. n he to town to work. haha. if he didnt hold my hand i would have made it up that slope anyway but sometimes i juz cant resist doing the damsel in distress act. which was his own doing anyway.

i'm gradually starting to relax a bit more... many people can attest that i get too emotionally involved with things. but that's juz me.... i like to get up close and....personal. hahahahah. nut. cant help it tt i care about him right.

i have no idea where things are heading for me. for most things. i guess i'll just hafta wait and see. like i used to say...if it happens, it happens.

what is wrong with the fucking music industry in singapore?????? damn. dollar signs are the priority now i suppose. if only people can, juz for some time, look beyond materialistic needs and wants, then maybe love would seem that much more pure. sometimes it seems like something of convenience. if there's mutual benefit, then ok, we'll go together. or maybe i'm too much of a romantic.



love. what a funny word. i dont know what it means to me anymore.