29th july

I LOVE YOU SAYANG!!!!!!!!!!

i apologise for the lack of interesting things that i put on the blog.... just as well since i'm about to embark on a potentially permanent phase where I have to censor most of the things I say and write, or and the things I do. Occupational hazard i would say...but then again the perks are amazing, so hey, who's complaining? hehe...

waiting for the MAN to get his butt online so we can have our 1st online conversation in over 2 yrs of resigning ourselves to this oh-so-happy-but-i-want-to-strangle-you relationship. hehe. think he might have fallen asleep again..went to collect his laptop last week, got internet on the same day... happy boy he is nowadays...

and in case i dont get to blog the couple of days, HAPPY 29TH BIRTHDAY BABY (1st aug)... wishing you healthy years ahead with your loved ones and me right under ur armpit... or making ur tummy fart... i love you always and kite nak kawin yayayay!! haha... in a few years... simpan duit dulu k ayu. lol.

to round things up, hope that the happenings over the last few weeks or so will be a great step ahead for me.. wont be easy, but i think i'm gonna make it, insya'allah. :)

update on the hamdan family

ah boy fractured his arm so will be using a cast til prob late aug or so... tripped on some net. anyways going to head out to meet my b soon...have a good day all.. tata

satu gambar

HAPPY 2ND ANNIVERSARY AYU N AYI !!!!!

wow... it's been a long and winding journey but yup we're finally here today..we've barely begun but i'm glad tt he's here to hold my hand come what may..

having said thatt, we've bought a new pc and got broadband so i guess i can start posting regularly... would be teaching soon. good luck to me. can anyone picture me as a teacher? heh....


aite good night all...


I LOVE YOU AYI.

better in time

It's been the longest winter without you
I didn't know where to turn to
See somehow I can't forget you
After all that we've been through
Going coming thought I heard a knock
Who's there no one

Thinking that I deserve it
Now I realise that I really didn't know
If you didn't notice you mean everything
Quickly I'm learning to love again
All I know is I'm gon' be ok
[Chorus:]
Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
It'll all get better in time
And even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to
It'll all get better in time
I couldn't turn on the TV
Without something there to remind me
Was it all that easy
To just put aside your feelings
If I'm dreaming don't wanna laugh
Hurt my feelings
but that's the pathI believe in
And I know that time will heal it
If you didn't notice boy you meant everything
Quickly I'm learning to love again
All I know is I'm gon' be ok
[Chorus:]
Since there's no more you and me
It's time I let you go
So I can be free
And live my life how it should be
No matter how hard it is
I'll be fine without you
Yes I will
[Chorus]


i hope that's what happens eventually for all of us. no matter how hurtful, no matter how painful, it does us well to know that there's other ppl out there going thru worse stuff..... so we trudge thru the rest of the days with a smile on the face, even if it does crack a little once in awhile.. n u pray, u pray that it will get better in time.. god nv lets us down.


i am happy nowadays, though i'm careful not to enjoy myself too much.. everything goes away, in time... so you hold on and appreciate what you have, who you love..

speaking abt that, i juz wanna wish b and myself a happy 2nd anniversary on the the 10th of july... thru thick and thin theru hurt and pain i'll be there for you.



there's a song which fits the description of my love for him today...

You're Still The One

(When I first saw you, I saw love.
And the first time you touched me, I felt love.
And afterall this time, you're still the one I love.)

Looks like we made it
Look how far we've come my baby
We mighta took the long way
We knew we'd get there someday
They said, "I bet they'll never make it"
But just look at us holding on
We're still together still going strong

(You're still the one)
You're still the one I run to
The one that I belong to
You're still the one I want for life(You're still the one)
You're still the one that I love
The only one I dream of
You're still the one I kiss good night

Ain't nothin' better
We beat the odds together
I'm glad we didn't listen
Look at what we would be missin'
They said, "I bet they'll never make it"
But just look at us holding on
We're still together still going strong (You're still the one)

You're still the one I run to
The one that I belong to
You're still the one I want for life(You're still the one)
You're still the one that I love
The only one I dream of
You're still the one I kiss good night (You're still the one)

I'm so glad we've made it
Look how far we've come, my baby.


so true, so true... more blessed years ahead...



look how far we've come my baby....

It's all coming back to me now....

it's been more than a yr since a last posted.... had to recover this precocious blog earlier today...have not got much to say except happy anniversary baby and good day to all my frens...


much love

ola

yup itz been a long time since i've updated this old blog of mine... was kinda bz with work n b.... anyway tmr i will embark on a new journey( new job la).....


nothing much happening lately, all is rather well. me n b r getting down to serious business.... the date is approaching near. how do i feel? apprehensive, sure. itz a big step for me. possible regrets? no. i love this man, he has changed my life and i do want to be with him dearly. the coming months might be a bit trying, but we believe as long as we are single-minded on this, it should be alright. i'm very happy for us.



my b is sleeping at hm as i write this, being on the night shift for this month... we dont tok to each other as much... absence makes the heart fonder, i agree.

sometimes i wonder whether i'm ready for this. but everyone has to make adjustments. i like the way my life is now, i'm happy and my r'ship with be is improving. alhamdulil'lah....


i went clubbing last friday... to celebrate yaya's bdae... i had fun yes, but i felt bad abt being there when my b was working. i dont think i'm going anymore, shall only go with my b... maybe mos next time when he's on the day shift.


itz nearing 7 months now, and almost a yr since we started getting to know each other. since then there's been many ups and downs, tears, laughter, we've had them all.


but i still say thank god i found u, my colour of love.

smile

miracle of love..... dont underestimate it...




anyway was in town yesterday to celebrate my kuzin's bdae..went to eat at far east, then watched the holiday.. sorry baby, but jude law is cuttteeeee. sigh.


am job-hunting rather passively.....


i love love.


nothing much to say really... the wedding was great... so touching la the akad nikah.... sigh.




okie u tc peeps

a new chapter

in the next few days a new chapter will unravel for some..what part do i play in this? simply to be happy for them of course! will be picking up my clothes later n gg over 2nyt... i'm so excited for them... kinda close to them so the hype's getting to me.

the taxi driver yest asked me when itz gonna b my turn...... well...all in gd time.... much to be learnt still...never-ending, love is.


congrats to the couple.... the nxt time i blog insya'allah dah selamat pon diorang.... :)

why

why did i quit? coz i someoly couldnt stand the hours and lack of social life that came with the job.


some nice things for me from b to remember in case my hp dies on me :



u have not offended me in any way lah. jng salah sangka juga... i've been in a low mood for the past 8mths. luar je nampak ceria. inside, its a wrecked and sunk ship... (2/7)

juz for my general info, wld u kndly tell me if u hv a fear of becomign a bike pillion? (3/7)

wld u consider goin on a date wif an overaged guy like mein the near future if an oppurtunity arises? juz keluar makan, movieor gi zoo/ nite safari... (3/7)

seems u r asleep already dear. tried 2surpise uwith a col 2chat, tapi dead response from singhtel.gd nyt n gd mornin when you wake up (3/7)

thanks 4makin me realise my mistake.maybe i've fallen 2much, 2fast 4u b. its been almost a yr since i had sum1 to love. like i said, its like a beautiful dream 4me. reality chick n itz true, we have a r'ship going. alhamdulil'lah... i'll stop calling you sayang if dats wat u want.maybe i hv a tendency to channel 2much care, concern n understanding 2dat special sum2 dat i hv.its my greatest weakness.i'll put sum brakes2dat nw k. time will tell how dis r'ship goes k ayu. (20/7)

B, as much as i wld like to restrict my feelings my feelings4u, i cant do dat cos wen it comes down to the basics of love, itz asn overwhelming feeling dat i wanna share wif u. tak guna nak ayi sekat2kan cinta ni utk awk. we r different, man and woman dont think alike. i'm sori but ic ant deny the feeling of love4u. terpulang pada awak nak terima atautidak. u hv your won ways of r'ship. ayi ada prinsip. wat am i if i go against principles. i''ll be nothing.u take care sayang. i miss u. (20/7)

u dnt hv2say anything my dear. juz smile n keep my feelings close2yr heart. insya'allah cinta kita akan berjangkit pada hati awak b.i'll pray 4dat. jaga diri b. (20/7)

Mungkin berkat doa ayi berbulan2 hv paid off.alhamdulil'lah. it's a happy feeling dat i cant describe being loved by sum1. my scars r slowly healing since i hv u.... (21/7)

and that was the start of this r'ship, a happy one despite the occasional tears...........


in life, sumtimes we plan to hv dis n dat, in hope dat everything goes smoothly. if we can foresee the future, we wldnt want 2make the slightest mistakes n b on the right path of a gd life all the time. alas, who r we to not make mistakes n hurt the people we love most.we r juz humans, n itz human to make mistakes. i hope we learn a lesson frm our mkstakes n may god hinder us frm committing the same mistakes n sins over n over agn...i love you ayu. may we reach our common goal togther as husband and wife n learn the ways of love2geda,faithfully, patiently n hv a mutual understanding. afamily of our won wld be nice eh?the road will be long and uncertain 4us at times, but having sum1 by yr side makes the trip worthwhile. take care n be happy always. u hv me by ur side....

Love, ayi. (12/12)

what's there not to love abt this man... not much. of course he has flaws, as do everyone else.... this is the man i pray god sent to me for a husband. insya'allah.

give me juz a li'l bit more

a li'l bit more wat? I guess i li'l bit more of everything, except problems...but no matter how much you wish them away they still do cum creeping back into ur life, dont they... an inevitable facet of life.


anyway, am about to rush off for work in abt an hr, so i'm juz kinda filling in the boring slots of life at home by updating my blog.....


when do you reach the point of enough is enough? never. then baby u'd noe how i feel. despite those painful arguments and disagreements, those days when we both cry oursleves to sleep.... when you wake up, u realise you cant spend that day without him. i guess we both have been through enough to recognise a good thing when we see it... some days are painful, some absolute bliss.... its a normal relationship. and one we intend to keep going till our last breaths. insya'allah. first step would be our engagement... bukanlah mengharapkan sangat majlis tu terjadi but the whole point is it gives our relationship direction..we have seen changes in both of us, more focused in preparing for our lives together.



how do you measure love? by time, by quantity?



the thing is, you cant. is a 5 mth relationship like ours any betta or worse than one of 5 yrs? i dont think so.... neither do i have the need to find out. everyone works differently. there are blessings in each obstacle....


all that matters is we stay true to ourselves. and our partners. having been though alot of bullshit when i was younger, even the things that i see around me now, i intend to keep tt promise of mine. not because i have to, but because i want to. itz not worth the heartache. trust me baby.



itz raining here... should get my butt off the chair n get ready for work. nvm, itz wif kakak so tiz fine...


md asya'ari. what will i do without you.

yo

had my first 6am-3pm shift today...wasnt so bad...hafta admit it gave me more time to do stuff i wan to do (sleep, sleep,sleep), but the absolute mothereffingly up at 4 in the morn..... doubt i'll ever get used to it.

anyhow, tmr's shift starts at 3 so i'll get to sleep in or maybe have lunch at 1st....


i cant put up the pix yet because i've got to set up my scanner again, which obviously i havent done since i barely get to use the pc... this update only happened coz i've already slept for abt 4 hrs earlier..my innate clock has gone haywire.

time check:11.40pm.


waiting for b to get back from zul's houz, maybe msg a li'l before gg to sleep. if i can tt is. was planning this end-month's expenses...a bit fed-up with the cpf contribution. i noe itz for old age and yada yada but still, you feel the pinchhhhhhhhhhhh.


have not met any of my frens for over a week since i started work. even finding difficulty to mit up with ayi sumtyms. by the time i get hm sum days, he's already asleep... but i guess in a relationship, you HAVE to make time. looking forward to seeing you again love.



i dont have nail polish remover. damn. the polish is starting to be yucky....... but still ok so i hope tmr b4 i report for work i have the brains to go n buy one.

have been thinking abt stuff lately, how my life has changed so much in the last couple of mths, actually even last week... feels like itz more purposeful instead of floundering abt without direction...i like that.

thank you ayi for what you're doing for us. i appreciate it. i'm doing what i can too.


seems like there's so much to say but i dont even noe where to begin or how to end.


whatever it is, i pray i have the strength to face what comes my way..


i love you baby. u've done so much for me. but what we have, this love we share, itz not gratitude or terpaksa. we do belong together. after all that's happened, i dont doubt tt anymore. i pray our plans for june goes smoothly. i'm with you always, even during those time when i really want to STRANGLE N THROTTLE you. thank you n thank God for everything. amin.



to the rest of the peeps, happy holidays, happy working, simply be happy you have one more day with your loved ones........

yayyyyy

back online at long last...as in i have access from hm...

hooray...but i guess i'm paying the bills as well...oh well.... at least i can update as n wen i feel like it...shall update my pix soon..wait for it...

:)

at ain's place

itz a rainy day and am at ain's palce, updating my blog....

i think i need to steal a photo from my bebeh coz i dont think i have any pix of my n b here....

and here it is. amek kau....... taken at bebeh's place during the open house.... today i shall go shopping.. itz for a good coz tho, dont start shaking your head saying " WOMEN!!!! " at me ok... i need to get clothes for work, which i start on wednesday.. shall only say tt itz a well-known store... but itz making me pay before i even get the first cheque. how sad...nevermind, itz an investment i guess....

i love you baby. :)

slumbbbbbbeeeeer partyyyy

me is at ain's place...not ain stoning but siti nur ain.... funny how these sleepovers only occur after we've sort of left school.... itz just starting, this party.... so i'll be looking forward to madness tonyt..hehe.


today's a bad day but i absolutely refuse to think abt the things tt have just happened....


so tonight i shall enjoy myself thoroughly and whatever happens later, i'll think abt it afterwards.


partyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!

last day

today's the last day of school for me... the lit paper today marks the last day of my being a pre-u student... feelings? none.




had a pretty bad week, but everything's ok, worked things out.... shall have to go job-hunting. argh.


time flies so fast... soon another year will be gone. wow.



usah biar ku sendirian
usah biar hatimu ditawan
usah biarku berdiri di sini
seorang menunggu tanpa teman
usah lepas genggaman tanganmu
usah biar semua berlalu
usah terlupa perasaan hati
pertama kali kita bertemu

usah lepaskan......




dont let go of all the precious things in life...hold on tight.... dont take things for granted....



baby i will always love you as long as you take care of my heart.

change me

these are the things i've found to be more important than me lately:

1) money
2) sleep
3) almost everything else


wow. thanks.


change me - ruben studdard

How would you like it if I talked about your skin
The way you wear your hair (oh, girl)
Would you like if I talked about your butt or once a month
Turned into someone that was hard to love
How would you like it if I didn't like your smoke
Didn't like your polish you be wearing on your toes
If I didn't like your neck-a-lace or what you cooked for breakfast
Would I be wrong, would I be wrong

Why you wanna change me
Flip all the thangs that really make me the way that I am
Used to make you happy, baby, why you wanna change me
You used to like your big old teddy bear
You used to let me get it anywhere
Now, baby, it's crazy
Why, why, why you wanna change me
Now what if all I did was pick apart
Your friends cause they ain't got no ends
What if I talked about your face in the morning
Cause we know that you ain't cute in the morning
What if I criticized the way that you be eating
And when you sleeping
You be doing that heavy breathing
What if I was at or about your house creeping
Would I be wrong, would I be wrong
Why you wanna change me

Flip all the thangs that really make me the way that I am
Used to make you happy, baby, why you wanna change me
You used to like your big old teddy bear
You used to let me get it anywhere
Now, baby, it's crazy
Why, why, why you wanna change me
We used to love breaking up
Knowing well be together again
And we used to love the arguments
Cause we making love by the end, girl
How you gonna change everything in return
Cause I don't wanna go if it ain't gonna be the same
If it ain't broke then why you wanna change
Why you wanna change me

Flip all the thangs that really make me the way that I am
Used to make you happy, baby, why you wanna change me
You used to like your big old teddy bear
You used to let me get it anywhere
Now, baby, it's crazy
Why, why, why you wanna change me

Tell me why you wanna change
Why, why, why you wanna change me
Why you wanna change me
Why baby, tell me why, girl, why
Baby, tell me why you wanna change me
Why you wanna change me
Why, baby, tell me why, girl
Baby, tell me why
Why you wanna change me
Why you wanna change me
Why, baby, tell me why
Baby, tell me why



maybe people need to learn that when you love, you love the flaws as well..... coz tt is your other half, the part that makes us human.



yesterday was not a good day. maybe you need to think about what you said. then get back to me.


sometimes i wonder if you're the same person i fell in love with. but i do know where i stand now, after yesterday.


thank you.

my love

Justin Timberlake My Love Lyrics
Ain't another woman that could take your spot my...


If I wrote you a symphony
Just to say how much you mean to me (What would you do?)
If I told you you were beautiful
Would you date me on the regular? (Tell me would you?)
Well baby I've been around the world
But I ain't seen myself another girl (like you)

This ring here represents my heart
But there is just one thing I need from you (say I do)
Because I can see us holding hands
Walking on the beach our toes in the sand
I can see us on the country side
Sittin' on the grass laying side by side
You can be my baby
Let me make you my lady
Girl you amaze me
Ain't gotta do nothin' crazy

See all I want you to do is be my love (So don't give away)
My love (So don't give away)
My love (So don't give away)
Ain't another woman that could take your spot my love (So don't give away)
My love (So don't give away)
My love (So don't give away)
Ain't another woman that could take your spot
My loooooooove, looooooove
My loooove
My loooove

Now if I wrote you a love note
And made you smile with every word I wrote (What would you do?)
Would that make you wanna change your scene
And wanna be the one on my team? (Tell me would you?)
See what's the point in waitin' anymore
Cause girl I never been more sure (That baby it's you)
This ring here represents my heart
And everything that you been waiting for (Just say I do)

Because I can see us holding hands
Walking on the beach our toes in the sand
I can see us on the country side
Sittin' on the grass laying side by side
You can be my baby
Let me make you my lady
Girl you amaze me
Ain't gotta do nothin' crazy
See all I want you to do is be my love (So don't give away)
My love (So don't give away)
My love (So don't give away)
Ain't another woman that could take your spot my love (So don't give away)
My love (So don't give away)
My love (So don't give away)
Ain't another woman that could take your spot

My loooooooove, looooooove
My loooove (A'ight it's time to hit it J.T.)
My looo...(I dunno why she hesitatin' for man)...oove
Eh shorty cool as a fan
On the new once again
And he still have fans from Peru to Japan
Listen baby I don't wanna ruin your plan (Nah)
But if you got a man try to lose 'em if you can
Cause the girls real wild throw their hands up high
When they wanna come and kick it with a stand up guy (Kick it)
You don't really wanna let the chance go by
Cause you ain't been seen with a man so fly
Baby friend so fly i can go fly
Private cause I handle my B.I.
They call me candle guy (Why?)
Simply cuz I am on (Haha!) fire
I hate to have to cancel my vacation so you can't deny
I’m patient but I ain’t goin' try (Nah)
You don’t come I ain’t goin' die
Hold up what you mean you can’t go why? (Why?)
Me and your boyfriend we ain't no tie (Ah)
You say you wanna kick it when I ain't so high (Man)
Well baby it's obvious that I ain’t your guy I ain’t goin' lie
I feel your space
But forget your face I swear I will
St. Bart's Anguilla anywhere I chill
Just bring wit me a pair I will

(Come on) I can see us holding hands
Walking on the beach our toes in the sand
I can see us on the country side
Sitting on the grass laying side by side
You can be my baby
Let me make you my lady
Girl you amaze me
Ain't gotta do nothin' crazy
See all I want you to do is be my love (Looooooove)
My love (Looooooove) My love (Looooooove)
Ain't another woman that could take your spot my love (Looooooove)
My love (Looooooove)
My love (Looooooove)
Ain't another woman that could take your spot
My looooooove, loooooove My loooove, My loooove




one of the nicest songs on the radio nowadays......



happy anniversary my love.

gila dong

had an extremely bad day yest...tapi alhamdulil'lah everything's back on track now.... sitting for my second a level paper in abt 1 1/2 hrs.. those who know my story wld be familiar with the fact tt i didnt study at all.......

oh well...dah bayar kan, amek jelah..



in abt 2 weeks i'll be just another unemployed person on the streets. how delightful...



not tt much to update, am sleepy now..... thank gawd for the one wk break till my next paper... waking up at 6 has been very painful...yelah, dah biase bangun bila matahari dah tegak...



okie me is bored with the way the entry is gg.... do tag me ya, i'd like to noe wat u guys have been up to...



i love you dum2.

back

wow, been abt two months since i last updated..did not have access to a pc unfortunately... i have net access but my pc's down. blardy hell..


first of all i'd like to wish all muslims out there a selamat hari raya maaf zahir batin seiklas2nya dari saya.........


as for updates on my life, nothing much, not attending sch anymore, nor studying altho the a's is abt a week away. a stubborn bitch yes i am.


as for me n ayi, alhamdulil'lah everything's gd.. had the oppurtunity to spend malam raye as well as raya kedua with him at my place....

kalau takde aral melintang insya'allah bulan 6 nanti la.


overall i am doing ok, taking things one day at a time...


i miss my frens n lepaking but these things hafta end some day anyway.......


aite tc all.... away with haze!!!!!