poooooopooooppppooot

hehehehehe. monkey business going on..

anyways, maybe i should explain the lack of updates lately... my pc is spoilt, so we terminated the dial-up shit.... so till it gets repaired and my mum gets broadband i'm afraid this will be as often as my updates get.


but honestly, wats there to update? nothing much happening except yesterday someone ruffled a few feathers. Mine. ewww....that seems so wrong.


other than that everything's fine, everyone seems to be dying from the workload that we've got. i'm sure the next 10 mths or so would fly by and the next thing i know i'm just a jobless person wondering in orchard rd fagging.


that seems like a nicer picture compared to what's currently happening right now. swaps anyone?????

and i dont like wateva's happening. i dont like it one bit. not because of the outcome, i mean that part is at least something i can live with...but itz just the hypocrisy and lying that's really a turn-off.


bottom life : i need to get a life

but then i hear it call my name

three free periods...two now coz i dont take econs and one later after gp i think... am aching all over from yesterday's torture session... but after tt it felt good i hafta admit.. except me and ain ( or siti ) looked a bit idiotic trying to look dignified while we walked down the steps like heavily pregnant women.. tt notti girl ended up not buying it. but i dont blame her...wonen, fickle-minded beings.. lol,. not tt i've never been tt before. anyways, nothing much happened lately, i'm starting to feel rather intelligent, and rightly too since i've got ard 10 months more before i face the devil. n no bebeh itz not u i'm toking abt..lol.. when r u gg to show me ur boyfren so i can give him my stamp of approval???????? i'm ur best fren u noe... hehe. nolah, u've got the thumbs up. u noe i dont like interfering in stuff like tt. i've got enough personal baggage to last a lifetime as it is.

promoted to vp this year. so far havent been doing anything tt needs some power-wielding coz there's been no news watsoeva. not really looking forward to activities. i'm just focusing on getting my ass out of this school with grades enough to get me somewhere. as for singing, as in properly...DONT TOK TO ME ABT IT. i've decided to shelf those tots till i'm REALI able to do so w/o having any guilt. wonder when tho.


i wanna see the raye pics. forgot to ask ana. hopefully ic an get some n then i can post it here. my camera is spoilt. blardy hell.

kla enough of blabbering. n let me tell u a secret........itz over. maybe itz betta tt way.

sorry hor

long time nv come here.... anyways...me at bebeh's place now... tmr there's sch!!!!!! argh..there goes my lounging ard at home doing nothing and getting fat days... sigh. but i guess at least now i'll be occupied with something la..so...yupz... nothing much to update realli so bubbye

weeeeee

i'm back after gawd noes how many eons..tmr is the last day of project work then i shall be free from all these bringers of misfortune and boredom...yux. did i say i was bored? dont reali wanna see ppl from sch any more than i hafta... dont ask me y because if u were supposed to noe u wld have already.

and as for my personal life...my lips are sealed....


cant believe i'm in sch during the hols. groan.

bored

i dont know how to define this but it is kept safely under wraps until it's safe to be told.

gawd, miss hanging out..havent been out at all since the promos started. oya wonder what arif wants to say to me. scary, he said he's holding it back coz he doesnt want it to affect my grades. shall ask him later.

fairytales..................beauty and the beast..hehe, remember doing tt song wif debz during the busking season wif debz and the seniors in tkgs a few yrs ago. then nuha did the balcony scene of romeo n juliet. itz a bit scary doing stuff in a girls' school but i still miss those days though.


i bump into my classmates once in awhile while i'm out but our worlds have totally changed, not much to say.

but my bebeh and me still keeping things up. duh, best frens mah. juz laz nyt i toked to her. havent seen her for a month. maybe next wk we can go break fast together and drive geylang while. ewwww. what a disgusting thought.


today shall be a fun day with lots of shopping i hope. retail therapy is GOOD.

cant believe i'm still in school. yux.

fairytale

i like fairytales. dont u?



"Because Of You"

I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself
Cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did,
You fell so hard
I've learned the hard way
To never let it get that far

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because I know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake
A smile, a laugh everyday of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I watched you die
I heard you cry every night in your sleep
I was so young
ou should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry in the middle of the night
For the same damn thing

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I try my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of you
I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of you
I am afraid

Because of you
Because of you






and itz also because of you that i now recognise true love, friendship. and i learnt that tongues wont stop yakking until their hearts do. and by then the pain, itz irreversible.

woitttt

aloo aloo... lame cek tak datang sini... hehe exams finally over, now on a brilliant saturday morning when i should spend the day luxuriating in bed or going out, i am slaving away at the computer doing the bloody project work stuff... going to geylang later, finally.

i am happy now. very very very happy. but im not getting my hopes up.


as for the exams, SIGH. i dont care what i get, as long as it gets me to yr 3 i'm awfully glad ( meaning i get to leave this darling school asap)

i feel bad eating at 1015. but cant help it lah, hungry. aku takleh puase la. so i'm hiding in a corner of the com lab now...just finished doing work and waiting for aisyah to get her things done then i'm off....

loooooooooooooooooooooooooooney. mad. haha. but i like it that way.


shite i'm losing it. but havent been this contented with life for a loooooooong time. raya pon da nak dekat. though i'm kinda blah about it, this year it will be different for me. a whole new meaning. yay.

i promise you wont regret it. one of the best things that's happened to me.



H-a-p-p-y. and no one's gonna take it away from me this time. no one is gonna deny me the one thing that i want.

cepatttt

i've got 5 min to do this so it has to be fast...anyway, itz bar's bdae today..happy bdae moo...you idiot. dont ask me y i call him tt..anyway me in the com lab now, takde melayu..... feel so refreshed..ain beside me keeps saying she smells nice ( coz we juz had a bath)

anyway...tmr and sat me gg out yippeeeeeeeeeeee.... ah ye abis promos hancur

lol. ciao

i work hard for the monehhhhh

beb, what to get for your bdae ah..... nvm dont tell me i shall figure out sumtg...what if i dont come on the 24th? :P

anyway...damn exam season sekarang..both me and my student. get it over and done with...man i'm famished.... eh girl, must i break an arm before i can see you? must get admitted to the hospital baru nampak batang hidung kau agaknya... anyway, come and stay over at my place on that day la.... hmmzzz...persuade ur dad...

aku mcm kemaruk gambar eh..haha. aku malas nak arrange lawa2 la.. tengok je eh. gambar ni latest, last mth. yg selenge kat atas tu da lame jugak.






so yupzz.... that's me and my younger sis on my bdae in may..i like the pic :)

i'm still alive

dont worry i'm still alive and snoring.... have been busy with dance and what-nots and now that i actually have time for other things, i find it kinda weird...used to the late nights i guess.... hmmmzz... now in sch waiting for the rest of the ml a peepz before i head over to the beach...

and i'm hungry.. sigh.


anyway my darling bebeh, i'm happy but i'm not gay aite... com'on admit it u're the one with a huge crush on me... ur boyfren is juz a sorry excuse to cover up..lol....

kidding la.

so yeah, anything juz pop a message here la though i doubt i'll answer anytime soon hehe.. but yes i'm very much alive... ciao.

BACK!!!!!!!

hey...cant stop my itchy fingers from writing...... anyway itz a real pity to give up on the blog, coz it is already more than a year old now.... nothing much happening lately, so there's nothing to report. pretty boring actually... but itz good to be back here... do message me here aite.

heh.heh.heh

i think my bro needs to visit the shrink..gawd. do you know where you're going to.. do you like the things that life has shown to you...where are you going to... do you know.... all i noe is that time will prove who is right and who's wrong. and with that, ladies and gentlemen, i end this blog. itz not worth pouring out my feelings here ( albeit somewhat subdued due to unwanted attention) and then being skewered for it. this is my place. i didnt ask you to come. so from now on, whatever i feel, my triumphs, my failures, will be for me and for me only to know. and of course for those fully deserving of being told. without me running the risk of being ridiculed. but i am fully happy in the sense that i know you will get your returns in due time. all of you. including you, you who i had never doubted for the longest time, n now i've come to realise that you'r no different from them. damn you, i trusted you. goodbye singing-freak. goodbye to you. i've given you one too many chances and instead you spat in my face. lidah tidak bertulang ucapan cinta menghiris kalbu kukan pergi...membawa diri cinta dihati terkubur lagi mungkin satu hari insya'allah dengan izin tuhan kau akan tahu juga apa yang aku lakukan untuk kau selama ini. dan kau akan menyesal. dan aku harap kau akan berubah. namun aku tetap berharap kau senang dan bahagia sekarang. jangan sesiakan orang yang kau sayang. peace be upon you.

101

itz abang norman's 25th birthday today....eeee so old ready lol. today i've been an absolutely angelic person and stayed at home. besides, the weather was fantastic for perpetual hibernators like me.... i've got one last paper on monday then itz back to the normal lessons...tedious work and what-nots. so hopefully tonight i'll get some revision done because knowing my family, we'd probably be out the whole weekend. yesterday, even though din's house is like four bus-stops away from mine, i took a cab home because i simply couldnt muster enough strength to take those two bloody buses home. so imagine my surprise (and anger) when the taxi driver took me on a nice long ride around punggol when i told him about a million and one times that i stayed in sengkang. the idiot kept on scolding me and said " tak tau balik, cakap tak tau balik la" then i said i do know how to get home but how the hell was i to direct him if he kept on going deeper into punggol? ingatkan aku takde keje kepe rounding punggol??? so ya, in the end he went to block 142 punggol. ya allah i got so pissed off i said uncle, this is still punggol. my house is at block 142 sengkang, all the way at the other end. then he stopped the cab and talked to another driver. in the end he told me to take the other guy's cab. and he asked me to pay the fare which gullible me, agreed to... when i was in the other guy's cab he said that i wasnt supposed to pay.... that bastard asked for duit minyak. so instead of paying ard 3 bucks i paid 7. i dont really mind as long as i reached hm safe la, tapi bingitttttttttttttnye. so yupz........................yesterday was indeed an eventful day.

mendaaaaaakkkkk

bored. juz came back awhile ago from gallivanting with one of my favourite people on earth and elsewhere. supposed to resume mugging mania but i'm more than willingly sacrificing a quarter of an hour or so to update this ol' blog of mine, speaking of which, itz been over a year since i've kept this one, which means i've blogged for around four years. what a mountain of crap i've accumulated. but itz kidna nice to look at the old entries and see what i had to say regarding certain issues. certainly amusing sometimes. which also reminds me that itz would also be a year soon, since i met someone. oh well. i'm sick of having to always be the one to initate things. i'm NOT talking about sexual issues here lol. but yeah, it really pisses me off that i always end up apologising for eveything. may as well apologise for my existence. which also brings to mind that a lot of people want me dead. oh well.. you cant please everyone. cant wait for the exams to be over. but i have to be responsible for danial and din then....haiz..great expectations. night all... heading back to the land of swimming words and beckoning sleep.

cleopatra tak menjadi..lol

for this, i have to blame ms lenny. although i made it clear that i wasnt to put on all this nonsensical garb, i still had to in the end... n forgot the lyrics. major mistake as a singer. i think this was over 2 yrs ago... sigh. anyway....not in school today because of certain stuff..first of all, i'm tired. secondly, i need to sort out certain stuff that will never be finished if my ass is in school. nothing to update actually...juz woke up. hungryyyyyyyyy.

back again

i havent been blogging for over a week....school juz started again and so far itz been ok i guess... went out till late late night then had to teach tuition today...tired. i'm in for a lot of work. nothing much to update. mostly mediocre stuff. so yupz............ feel like falling asleep again but my guilty conscience wont let me. oh well... n kak yana..few weeks to freedom. hold on!!! and bebeh.... i love you. CHIN UP! even though i should say the same for myself. i didnt intend to cry on thurs. it was so trivial actually. what's the saying again..the straw that broke the camel's back? yeah. it was a catalyst for the leaky faucet to start..i guess i've held of things inside n that was the breaking point. well like i've said before airmata itu penghapus dosa. satu hari nanti wateva u've done to me will be haunting you. that's why i'm not doing anything about it. life has itz own queer ways of retribution which i am quite in favour of, istead of self-prescribed justice. just you wait.

mari dangdut bang....

itz scary when i watch ahan dance sometimes... he's so good that he freaks me out. i miss the jantan and pompuan joget days... it was only a few weeks ago but seems like forever now. anyway this picture was taken by our official Joget Club photographer Siti there in the blue shirt.. the dance was hilarious like i've said before. now when i think back the practices were loads of fun too. i remember one day when we were trying out new moves to incorporate and such... i dunno what the hell we were doing before that but somehow i ended up on akbar's back. that idiot then suddenly walked over to the front of the stage and thereatened to drop me. picture this : this bugger standing at the edge of the stage, about 2 metres high, and me perched on his back, clinging on for dear life. i didnt dare open my eyes. i dont think i would have made it back in one piece if he did drop me and according to aisyah, it looked like he was going to. told you i have a love-hate relationship with him. but then again, let me reiterate that we are just frens. in fact if i ever end up with any of these two...oh nevermind. gawd no thank you. think things are excellent in their current status. do you have a calculator? lol.

kelakar lah you ni

think i've overused a particular word in my vocabulary. idiot. no matter what the occasion, that word always resurfaces. and it doesnt necessarily mean that itz an insult ya. so i guess you can be happy if i call you one. i'm not exactly very lavish with my compliments, especially when it comes to les hommes. but yes, my point is that i am a HUGE ONE.idiot, that is. and in this case i dont mean it in a flattering manner.let me enlighten you. as you might know, i've been mostly bedridden ( hell, memories of things stuck in my veins suddenly appear. and someone's face. shoo.) since sunday, after i've come home from the 'ton' ning session at east coast and a trip to town to see some booty-shakin'. that night i felt weird, had the feeling i was coming down with something. and yeah, remembering what happened the last time i was majorly sick ( earlier this year when i had a horrible horrible bout of food-poisoning) i decided not to take any chances and stopped eating everything within sight like i normally do. i even had the great PRESENCE OF MIND to treat it like a detox session. of course, knowing ayu, it had to go all wrong...you know when you're sick you should never deprive yourself of much-needed things ( like FOOD you dumbass) but yeah, clever me went to do just the opposite. had just a slice of bread each day since mon. the funny thing was i spent the last couple of days in bed worrying that it was another case of food-poisoning because my stomach was on the verge off putting up a sign saying " ENOUGH GARBAGE!" or so i thought....it really was saying " GET MORE FOOD IN HERE YOU MORON!!!!!!!!!!!!" i was actually experiencing hunger pangs.

i feel good now... sambal goreng has never tasted better. yum yum.

a vision of love - that is all that you've given to me

mak...sakit

i am in excruciating pain right now. have been since sunday night. if i dont make it through, i want you to know that i love you very very very much baby. always have and always will. gawd. such a drama mama. but i am in pain. seriously. cant get out of bed except to drink some water and fall back on the bed in a drunken stupor and not see anything else exept the next sunrise. or sundown. and can you believe it, i'm actually craving for lj's now. alas, cant even make it to the kitchen without visualising an oasis there. which is, in fact, probably the water i spilled when it was making its way to my mouth. oopsie. giggle. ooookie..think i'm becoming an utter floozie. back to the bed. dont make me close one more doooooooooooooooooor i dont want to hurt anymore stay in my arms if you dare or must i imagine you there dont walk away from me dont walk away from me dont you dare walk away from me ( wow... becoming quite a threat here. protection order is on its way) i have nothing nothing nothing if i dont have you.................... i'm going nuts. rock a bye baby.....

nyeh

"airmata itu penghapus dosa" stupid me. was cooking something in the kitchen then while waiting for it to boil went to my room and read up a few more pages.... and almost forgot about it. home alone today, so am busying myself in the kitchen experimenting. been out a lot last 2 weeks, spent the night at east coast two days ago, then headed to town to watch my friend. so yupz...got a fever today and i deserve it. ok not much to say but i think my radar senses someone 'new'. poor adam. hate being pressurised into anything, especially relationships. yucks. am 'dating' my friends now. so much better. lol. yum.. the food cooking excellently. can smell it from my room. think i'll have a fag too. ciao.